Friday, May 30, 2014

A trip to the movies

Maleficent was excellent.   It isn't the story of Sleeping Beauty that we grew up with. It is 100 better.  One of my favorite stories of all times even better

So why was the evening and disaster?


We can't even go to the movies anymore.

A single movie preview triggered both of us.   I thought that I was okay until I tried to sleep.   But every time I closed my eyes I saw death.  

So...  What could cause us both so many problems?

We were both EMTs.  We saw the worst in people.  In one accident a man though that his political position put him above the law


  1. Sorry. Blogger is messing up again.

    He decided to drive drunk at almost 100 mph over the speed limit. He hit another car. His decision cost him his life that day and left scars on Dragon that will never heal.

    My issue came from something that hit a little closer to home. We nearly lost one of our children when she was just a toddler. She should have died that night. The thought of losing one of my children keeps me paralyzed in fear.

    No one knows our struggles. No one sees our pain. Not even our children.

    Dragon has seen so much more than I have and still he plows on with life. His strength amazes me. Next to him, I feel like a wimp.

    Today we are both tired. Dragon will probably get triggered again but hopefully not as hard. We will both be okay.

    I can't tell family. They will just squirm in discomfort and insinuate that I am not praying hard enough. That we aren't good enough christians. Not in those words but that is what they are really saying. They don't understand that some wounds never heal. So instead, I write here in blog land. Blissfully anonymous. Here I am good enough. Here I am not judged by ignorant, hateful people.

    Yes, please add your prayers to mine but don't tell me to pray. I already am.

  2. Replies
    1. Thank you. I hope to get some sleep tonight. Fingers crossed

  3. I want to see that movie so bad. Sorry to hear things went down hill for you both. That is sad but some people are like that.

    1. The movie was great!!! I didn't like the two Snow White movies last year but love this one. It has a great twist.

      I have learned not to mention PTSD to family. If they get their feelings hurt when we leave in the middle of dinne, it iisn't my fault. We don't worry about it anymore.

  4. Oh Rose...I am so sorry you were both triggered and that you have faced such horror. A friend of mine suffers from PTSD and says that some of the resources on this site have helped him. One of my favorite quotes from that site is "PTSD is like a cancer. It's always there, sometimes dormant, sometimes active. If we, who have PTSD, instead had cancer, there would be a lot more understanding and support".

    If there is anything I can do for either one of you, please let me know. Sending lots of prayers, healing energy and positive thoughts.

    Hugs and Blessings...

    1. I follow Military with PTSD on Facebook. It helps. Wish I had it years ago when we were both falling apart. It is very much like a cancer but there is no cure.

      Thanks, just prayers. We are taking it one day at a time.

  5. I'm sorry that you have experienced such awful things and that your family wouldn't understand your pain. Sending hugs to the two of you.

  6. I can't stand when people use their religion to judge others. Paul asked God to "remove the thorn from his side." Our prayers do not always remove our pain. If it did, we would all be walking around without pain. I'm sorry that you all are experiencing the PTSD. I'm sorry that there are Christians who are being ignorant and adding to your pain. We, as Christians, need to be very careful about adding or subtracting from the truth. There's been a long history of that since the beginning of time. I'll pray that God will hold you "in the palm of his hand" and to keep you and to bless you. Love and Prayers, -Belle L.

  7. Rose, thank you for sharing this. I love how you both have each other to lean on. Not that my problems come close to the life effects of PTSD, but often feel alone because all I hear is to just get over it. So it's tough having a double dose in your home, I'm sure, yet having that immediate understanding of the other's struggle without words is just beautiful.

    And thanks for the movie recommendation too :-) I'd been wanting to see it but my newspaper tore it up and said it was awful. I tend not to put too much faith in their reviews but this was such a blasting I kids lost interest in the movie. Now I need a girls night!