Sunday, October 1, 2017


Shame is a huge reason for the pause.  Dragon's busy schedule is part of it but not even the biggest issue.

In a word?  Incontinence.

Actually it is all that comes with it.

Silly I know.

I'm not shy about the Impressa devices.  That is just a little string visible. Not a big deal.  What makes me push Dragon away are the pads.  Impressa comes with a time limit.  8 hours.  12 hours at the absolute most.  With the devices I use a pad about the size of a panty liner.  Just a little bigger but not by much.  When I have to go without the devices is another story.  For me to feel confident that my clothes will stay clean I use a much larger pad.

90% of the time the smaller ones would be enough but occasionally it isn't.  That's why I started using protection to begin with.  I had an accident away from home and had no way to change clothes.

I'm fine with Dragon seeing the little string and the thin liner but the heavier pads make me duck my head in shame.  He knows that I use them.  Heck, he buys them for me most of the time.

I just can't do it.  Until today I haven't told him. But I finally confessed.  "What can I do to help" was his response.  That has been his attitude with all of this.  Helpful, kind and gentle as always.

He doesn't deserve my rejection.  I just don't know how to get past this.

I'm sure he will come up with something.  Love my man just a little.


  1. Replies
    1. Yes he does. I need to have more trust in him.

  2. THere is a surgery available, if you're interested.

    1. Not an option. I have seen the surgery go very wrong. Until the medical device business changes, I won't risk it.

  3. Sorry you are having those feelings, Rose. Baker is right...your Dragon has once you get into the right headspace, you wouldn't even think about it. Reverse your positions...would you think less of him? No you would not so allow him the same gift. Sending prayers and healing energy your way.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat