I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I did. This is the very first time we haven't cooked. We ate with my sister in law. It was a good day.
Before we left home Dragon wanted a trip to the garage. It was in the mid 50s. Not warm but not freezing either. I finally got the spanking I needed. Hard and fast. I'll call it memorable. A little help before we faced family. Definitely not a pleasure spanking. Just what I needed.
The swats were really hard to take. I don't know if I was just being a brat or if I am out of practice. Staying still was impossible but Dragon was determined. He gave me a number and told me how hard they were going to be. He stuck with it.
When we finally loaded up to go my bottom was still stinging. No rubbing. No lotion. He wanted it to last as long as possible. How did he know? Yes, he knew I wanted a spanking. He even knows what a punishment does to and for me. I want to know how he knew I needed a stiff tune up.
Maybe it is what he needed too.
NFP
It is going okay. I keep forgetting to do the internal checks. Oops. The morning temps are going great. We have already gotten into a routine with them. We have only ran into one problem.
While I was digging the Christmas tree out of the garage something bit me. It left a quarter sized, very sore bite on my side. I have to keep benadryl in my system to keep the hives under control. It has also caused a fever. My basal thermometer doesn't register high enough to get an accurate temp before I take Tylenol. It looks like I need to buy a fever thermometer to keep by the bed. It doesn't really matter but I like everything accurate. It is annoying to know that two of the temps are probably recorded low. Way over the norm but not accurate.
For now I am watching the bite. I think the biggest problem is allergies. I am obviously allergic to the critter that bit me. If it isn't better by morning I will go to the doctor. This is miserable.
Friday, November 28, 2014
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
If wishes were kisses
I love the beautiful colors of fall. The bare and sepia tones of winter are depressing but without winter we wouldn't have spring. Yes, spring is my favorite season. New greens. Lillies and flowers in bloom.
Love it
What is the worst part of fall and winter? My backside gets neglected. The garage is to cold for any real playing and Dragon says that a punishment is bad enough without adding the cold.
I can almost feel the sting of the paddle I want it so bad.
I wish we were close friends with a spanking couple. Another HOH with spanking privileges.
Oh well
If wishes were kisses.
Love it
What is the worst part of fall and winter? My backside gets neglected. The garage is to cold for any real playing and Dragon says that a punishment is bad enough without adding the cold.
I can almost feel the sting of the paddle I want it so bad.
I wish we were close friends with a spanking couple. Another HOH with spanking privileges.
Oh well
If wishes were kisses.
Friday, November 21, 2014
tick tock
Time marches on. We have finally started taking the morning temperatures. His alarm goes off, I grab the thermometer. He watches the time. Three minutes and the results are recorded.
I am not sure that the method we are using is going to work for us. Several temps were exactly the same and then a steep drop for no reason. In all the years that we have tracked my fertility this way, I have never seen a drop like that.
I'll give it a month and see what happens. If I keep getting weird results something will have to change.
A positive side effect? Tracking fertility this close makes us both think about sex frequently. That morning temperature usually leads to some fun. (Oops, Dragon was late for work one day) Then there are the rest of the things we check during the day. Dragon loves doing the internal checks for me. Cervical height and opening. Sometimes it is almost clinical and impersonal. Fast and efficient. Other times he likes to play a bit. Both leaves me shaking and wanting more.
The garage is to cold for spanking fun again. We are saving our pennies for a heater to put out there. The only reason he would make me freeze my backside is a punishment. It would have to be something nasty ugly for him to do that.
There are other ways to have fun and other creative punishments Dragon has thought up.
Life goes on.
I am not sure that the method we are using is going to work for us. Several temps were exactly the same and then a steep drop for no reason. In all the years that we have tracked my fertility this way, I have never seen a drop like that.
I'll give it a month and see what happens. If I keep getting weird results something will have to change.
A positive side effect? Tracking fertility this close makes us both think about sex frequently. That morning temperature usually leads to some fun. (Oops, Dragon was late for work one day) Then there are the rest of the things we check during the day. Dragon loves doing the internal checks for me. Cervical height and opening. Sometimes it is almost clinical and impersonal. Fast and efficient. Other times he likes to play a bit. Both leaves me shaking and wanting more.
The garage is to cold for spanking fun again. We are saving our pennies for a heater to put out there. The only reason he would make me freeze my backside is a punishment. It would have to be something nasty ugly for him to do that.
There are other ways to have fun and other creative punishments Dragon has thought up.
Life goes on.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
A Million
worries are on my mind right now. Some small. Most not so small. I can't bring myself to really write about them. The guilt. The fear. It is always there. Most of the time I cope pretty good but I think November may be to blame for the tears. And a few extra worries loaded on for good measure.
One of my kids had a bad bike wreck. It was terrifying. She was in so much pain. Almost a week later she is still recovering. No broken bones but definitely sore. Another daughter is headed down a path of hopelessness. She has been given every opportunity but refused it. Now that she has to stand on her own, she is making all the wrong choices. Dragon's seasonal PTSD is in full swing too. Then there is my grandmother's stroke and an uncertain future.
Mass last night was just what I needed. It felt like Father was speaking to me as he gave a short homily. I walked in the door with my worries weighing me down. I left with tears falling.
The daughter that had the bike accident woke up feeling better this morning. That is a huge worry off my shoulders. The rest will come in time.
Sorry for the whiny post but I figured my blogger friends deserved more than silence.
Today I am going to put on my happy face and get the house ready for the Christmas season. Tree goes up very soon.
One of my kids had a bad bike wreck. It was terrifying. She was in so much pain. Almost a week later she is still recovering. No broken bones but definitely sore. Another daughter is headed down a path of hopelessness. She has been given every opportunity but refused it. Now that she has to stand on her own, she is making all the wrong choices. Dragon's seasonal PTSD is in full swing too. Then there is my grandmother's stroke and an uncertain future.
Mass last night was just what I needed. It felt like Father was speaking to me as he gave a short homily. I walked in the door with my worries weighing me down. I left with tears falling.
The daughter that had the bike accident woke up feeling better this morning. That is a huge worry off my shoulders. The rest will come in time.
Sorry for the whiny post but I figured my blogger friends deserved more than silence.
Today I am going to put on my happy face and get the house ready for the Christmas season. Tree goes up very soon.
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Touch
Dragon doesn't ask to touch me any more. He just does. A VERY nice change. I wake up to his hands exploring my body. As his stress at work increases, my submission to him deepens. I am doing my best not to use the word no. I have my safe words but they have specific meanings. I won't abuse them just because I am sleepy.
Instead of withdrawing like he does every year, he is drawing closer. I love it. He even took the time for a pleasure spanking. It has been a while so my backside was extra tender. I couldn't take the intense swats I was taking with a smile. Mild to moderate with just a few harder swats.
It was very good. Even better since it felt so normal.
No secret can be kept OTK. I can feel what the spanking is doing to him and my body is on display for him. It is obvious that we both love that very intimate position.
Conversion has turned more and more to ttwd. The fun and the serious. We both love the effects this life style has on our relationship. I need to work on my fear. I have nothing to fear from Dragon but old habits are hard to break. The older they are, the more challenging they can be. Dragon needs to look at DD as trust building. Even punishment. His touch. His voice.
Instead of completely backing off, he is going to start comforting and reassuring me. Helping me get past my fear. One spanking at a time.
Submitting to his touch is a beginning. For me, spanking is simply another kind of touch. Harder, stinging, sexy and incredibly intimate.
For now punishment will include lots of reassurance and genital touch. Quite words and probably a very light spanking. We will take it slow. My fear put a stop to DD but it isn't going to get better by ignoring the problem.
I should feel shame and disappointed in myself but not outright blind terror. There is a huge difference. Some of this fear comes from my past. Some comes from reading other blogs. I can't do this alone. I need balance that can only come with both of us understanding the problem and both of us working for solutions.
Submitting to his touch any time, any where is helping. The fun spankings are helping.
They are helping BOTH OF US! He is still struggling but focusing on our relationship seems to help. He replaces the horror of war with touch and pleasure. I am replacing my bad memories with gentle hands and kindness.
We won't know if this is going to last until after the holiday rush. Until we are both faced with a punishment that can't be ignored. If we rush to fast, we will be right back where we started.
Slow and easy. Baby steps.
Accepting his touch. Doing the tasks that have to be done and both of us remembering that we have rules to live by. Rules that keep us healthy, built trust and give our relationship a strong foundation.
Dang
He is at work and all I want is him. A stinging backside and sweet loving.
Instead of withdrawing like he does every year, he is drawing closer. I love it. He even took the time for a pleasure spanking. It has been a while so my backside was extra tender. I couldn't take the intense swats I was taking with a smile. Mild to moderate with just a few harder swats.
It was very good. Even better since it felt so normal.
No secret can be kept OTK. I can feel what the spanking is doing to him and my body is on display for him. It is obvious that we both love that very intimate position.
Conversion has turned more and more to ttwd. The fun and the serious. We both love the effects this life style has on our relationship. I need to work on my fear. I have nothing to fear from Dragon but old habits are hard to break. The older they are, the more challenging they can be. Dragon needs to look at DD as trust building. Even punishment. His touch. His voice.
Instead of completely backing off, he is going to start comforting and reassuring me. Helping me get past my fear. One spanking at a time.
Submitting to his touch is a beginning. For me, spanking is simply another kind of touch. Harder, stinging, sexy and incredibly intimate.
For now punishment will include lots of reassurance and genital touch. Quite words and probably a very light spanking. We will take it slow. My fear put a stop to DD but it isn't going to get better by ignoring the problem.
I should feel shame and disappointed in myself but not outright blind terror. There is a huge difference. Some of this fear comes from my past. Some comes from reading other blogs. I can't do this alone. I need balance that can only come with both of us understanding the problem and both of us working for solutions.
Submitting to his touch any time, any where is helping. The fun spankings are helping.
They are helping BOTH OF US! He is still struggling but focusing on our relationship seems to help. He replaces the horror of war with touch and pleasure. I am replacing my bad memories with gentle hands and kindness.
We won't know if this is going to last until after the holiday rush. Until we are both faced with a punishment that can't be ignored. If we rush to fast, we will be right back where we started.
Slow and easy. Baby steps.
Accepting his touch. Doing the tasks that have to be done and both of us remembering that we have rules to live by. Rules that keep us healthy, built trust and give our relationship a strong foundation.
Dang
He is at work and all I want is him. A stinging backside and sweet loving.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
The Holidays
As the holiday season ramps up so does Dragons work load. A new set of supervisors isn't helping either. Along with the rush and stress is PTSD. Dragon always struggles this time of the year.
My nniece posted this on Facebook and then Father talked about PTSD during the Homily Sunday. How the nightmares ate a memorial to those the soldiers couldn't save.
Dragon left Mass very quiet. Quietly he told me that he needed to hear that today. That it helped. His PTSD seems worse than ever right now but that is how it workes. It gets a lot worse before he gets better.
This time of the year i have my own struggles. I need Dragons leadership to make it but he isn't able to give it to me. This is when I wish we were very close to another dd couple. To have someone to lean on right now.
Maybe one day.
For now I'll pull up my big girl panties and do what I do every yesr. Put on a happy face and pretend this is a happy time.
Dragon finally admited to me that the Christmas music the rest of us love triggers him. It makes him and triggers memories of the war zone. He doesnt want us to turn it off. In a wsy it is minor. Turn off the music. No big deal but it is such a huge part of who we are. It is a sacrifice we are all willing to make.
Todays chore is cleaning the garage. Dragon is overwhelmed by it. A few hours and I'll have it under control. One stressor gone. One more thing Dragon wwon't have to worry about.
My request? Pray for the soldiers who are alone. Who don't have a wife or family to lean on. Being alone makes the holidays nearly unbearable for them.
My nniece posted this on Facebook and then Father talked about PTSD during the Homily Sunday. How the nightmares ate a memorial to those the soldiers couldn't save.
Dragon left Mass very quiet. Quietly he told me that he needed to hear that today. That it helped. His PTSD seems worse than ever right now but that is how it workes. It gets a lot worse before he gets better.
This time of the year i have my own struggles. I need Dragons leadership to make it but he isn't able to give it to me. This is when I wish we were very close to another dd couple. To have someone to lean on right now.
Maybe one day.
For now I'll pull up my big girl panties and do what I do every yesr. Put on a happy face and pretend this is a happy time.
Dragon finally admited to me that the Christmas music the rest of us love triggers him. It makes him and triggers memories of the war zone. He doesnt want us to turn it off. In a wsy it is minor. Turn off the music. No big deal but it is such a huge part of who we are. It is a sacrifice we are all willing to make.
Todays chore is cleaning the garage. Dragon is overwhelmed by it. A few hours and I'll have it under control. One stressor gone. One more thing Dragon wwon't have to worry about.
My request? Pray for the soldiers who are alone. Who don't have a wife or family to lean on. Being alone makes the holidays nearly unbearable for them.
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Happy Dragon
The super crazy busy Christmas season is here. Dragon has no off days in sight. 7 days a week for the next two weeks. Project Happy Dragon continues. I know he won't be able to give much back but that just means that I work harder.
Marriage isn't 50/50. It is two people giving 100%.
On the agenda today. Make laundry soap. It is cooling. When it is jelled I can put it in jars and do a few loads of laundry. Sheets need to he washed. (That is a Monday chore but I an behind). Work on my fun projects and clean in the mom cave.
Dragon got home so late last night that I was already in bed. He missed the pretty dress. I'll try again tonight.
Marriage isn't 50/50. It is two people giving 100%.
On the agenda today. Make laundry soap. It is cooling. When it is jelled I can put it in jars and do a few loads of laundry. Sheets need to he washed. (That is a Monday chore but I an behind). Work on my fun projects and clean in the mom cave.
Dragon got home so late last night that I was already in bed. He missed the pretty dress. I'll try again tonight.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Squeamish
From time to time Dragon gets a little squeamish about TTWD. Don't get me wrong. He is still fascinated with my ass. Random swats are plentiful and so is sex in all the ways we both like it. The problem comes with a more serious spanking.
Over the last few months I had issues. I couldn't submit to a spanking. Just couldn't do it. Flogging was fine and great. Marks and all. Now the floggers are ruined and we are left with paddles and his ever present belt.
I say yes and he squirms.
It is all about head space. It isn't abuse. It doesn't even have to be about discipline. It is about us and connecting and being together.
I have a plan.
* clean up our play space.
*move one of our space heaters out there
*finish up a few fun sewing projects I started but didn't finish
*give up panties at home
*wear my dresses and stockings more
These are all things that please him. Things that make him smile. They will show submission on a level I haven't given him in a LONG LONG time.
Will these things make him pick up the paddles again?
No
But I know a secret.
He is happier when I am submissive.
We are closer when I submit.
Isn't that the goal?
I know something else too.
When he is happy with me, he is much more likely to spank.
I have a plan!
Since the weather us bad today, I'll work in the sewing room. When he gets home I'll be dressed just for him. A nice dress and the stockings I know he loves.
Over the last few months I had issues. I couldn't submit to a spanking. Just couldn't do it. Flogging was fine and great. Marks and all. Now the floggers are ruined and we are left with paddles and his ever present belt.
I say yes and he squirms.
It is all about head space. It isn't abuse. It doesn't even have to be about discipline. It is about us and connecting and being together.
I have a plan.
* clean up our play space.
*move one of our space heaters out there
*finish up a few fun sewing projects I started but didn't finish
*give up panties at home
*wear my dresses and stockings more
These are all things that please him. Things that make him smile. They will show submission on a level I haven't given him in a LONG LONG time.
Will these things make him pick up the paddles again?
No
But I know a secret.
He is happier when I am submissive.
We are closer when I submit.
Isn't that the goal?
I know something else too.
When he is happy with me, he is much more likely to spank.
I have a plan!
Since the weather us bad today, I'll work in the sewing room. When he gets home I'll be dressed just for him. A nice dress and the stockings I know he loves.
Monday, November 3, 2014
Panties
A lot can be said with panties.
An old pair of stained panties tells Dragon that I am on the rag.
Pretty, silky panties invites seduction.
A thong tells him that I would love a sexy spanking.
No panties invites his touch. My bare bottom tells him that it is okay to wake me up for sex.
No words. Just a small scrap of fabric.
I have decided that I love sleeping with a bare backside.
An old pair of stained panties tells Dragon that I am on the rag.
Pretty, silky panties invites seduction.
A thong tells him that I would love a sexy spanking.
No panties invites his touch. My bare bottom tells him that it is okay to wake me up for sex.
No words. Just a small scrap of fabric.
I have decided that I love sleeping with a bare backside.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)