Independence week is hard for both of us for different reasons. Some years we almost celebrate like a normal family. Not this year. Nope.
Dragon's PTSD is bad. The sounds of the fire works, the smell of burning gunpowder and grills. We celebrate the 4th with fire works to mimic the bombs and gun fire of a long ago war. The sounds of war haven't changed that much. A mortar round is still a mortar. For Dragon, he is back in Afghanistan. He isn't here with us. He is far away reliving a nightmare I can't even imagine.
And let's add to the problem. Because he has permanent damage from larium toxicity, the drugs used to treat PTSD don't work for him. I have learned how to help him by changing his diet. Absolutely NO MSG for one. And I've added foods that are rich in the amino acids his brain needs to produce hormones. I have done a lot of reserves trying to find anything to help. Tremors, mood swings that make pregnant ladies look calm, panic attacks and flash backs. The diet changes really help but every few months everything stops working. Life becomes hell while his body re-sets. Next week I'll reintroduce the foods that help and in a few days he will be back to normal.
But that doesn't help either of us this week. Nothing we haven't done before. Situation normal for a house with a combat vet. FUBAR. F@#$ed Beyond All Recognition.
This to shall pass. We will both feel better after this holiday neither one of us feel much like celebrating.