Life

Not much going on around here.  We are busy with life.  Unpacking boxes, getting the kids started with school work and Dragon is working his tail off.

Yep...  That is life...

My kids are working hard.  Helpful around the house and even doing their school work with minimum fussing.  I think we are all happy to just be in a house.

I am still working on fully submitting to Dragon.  I haven't refused him a blow job yet.  He is very happy with my progress and isn't pushing for more than what I am able to give.

I would post about my latest punishment but I haven't had one in a while.  After that last one, I have been working hard to avoid the next one.  I really don't want to find out what a barn burner is like, if that last one was mild.  Yikes!

Did you know that a table saw is kinky?  Yep.  Sure nuff!  He moved the blade all the way down, unplugged it and put a blanket over the nice flat surface!  It was a little tall for some things but just right for him to use to for O denial.  Miserable!  I want to do that again!

Ever thought

"Hmmm, it is past time for a punishment."

Yes, I know.  Insane thoughts.  Must get more coffee.  I can't be awake yet.

Dragon is off to work and I have a full day keeping up with his expectations.  He is trying to bring me back up to where I was before the depression hit.  It is happening.  Slowly.

Good news.  I found the toy box and the hytochi.  The bad news?  The hytochi doesn't work right any more.

So sad.

Dragon works long hours.  I am home thinking about him and his new found dominance.   So very sexy.  I am hungry and I don't have my favorite toy to scratch the itch.  Grrrrrr

New Rules?

Yes, new life outside of the military.  New house in a new state.  New rules. 

Clean, company ready house.  I will admit that my house keeping skills have declined in the last few years.   It is now a rule.  No one chore belongs to any one person.  I am responsible for making sure the house is clean every day and assigning chores fairly.  It has been tuff.  Unpacking boxes and keeping the house clean?  That is a hard one but so far I have managed.  I have to be on the kids constantly to pick up after themselves. 

My fault.  I dropped the ball at our last house and let the rules slide.  Now it is my butt on the line.  He comes home and finds the house not company ready and the paddle meets my backside.  And not just the public areas either.  The pantry and all bedrooms will stay ready for anyone to come by and tour the house.    Yikes. 

And if that rule isn’t bad enough there is another new rule.  I can’t even yell at the kids without cause.  Ok.  I know yelling does no good.  But it is so easy to get frustrated with all these boxes and the kids not picking up anything!  Apparently yelling is not lady like and Dragon married a lady not a bar fly.  Dragon has not established what “good cause” is.  So,  when is it allowed?  I know one thing.  I don’t want to find out when it isn’t allowed.   That means I am getting punished.    This sounds like one of those  trial and error rules or maybe a “don’t ever do it” thing.   

I see a spanking in my future.  Probably very soon.  We are all tired and cranky.  It is so easy to let the house go just a little.  It is even easier to get frustrated with the kids and yell out of turn. 

Oh crap.  I am in for it now.  

unpacking

I am busy unpacking now.  ALL THOSE BOXES!  It is a bit much to take in.  All I can do is take it one room at a time.  I started with the most important room in the house.  The control center of any home.  The kitchen.  I have found spices, bowls, glasses and pot lids.  4 boxes unpacked, 2 more opened but I'll get to those last.  I am taking it slow.

While the movers were here they kept fussing at me to sit down.  I was hurting and not getting around so good.  Today is the same.  I am moving slow, trying to keep from moving wrong.  My walking stick is my constant companion.  The kids are being very helpful.  I open the box then sit on my stool and point where I want things to go.  I put away dishes that go in my little corner of the kitchen but they are doing the major lifting and moving.

This submission thing is hard today.  I want my house in order.  I want it done today but I am under orders not to over do it.  Dragon said he didn't care of even one box got unpacked.  It will get done when it gets done he said.   So what is he going to do?  Spank me when I am already in pain from doing too much?  Hmmmm  Yes, I think Dragon would do it.

I am taking a short break.  We still can't get to the dishwasher or the coffee pot.  Working on it little by little.   I can see the sink now!  That is progress!

More progress

The problem with incomplete submission wasn't just with spanking.  The larger problem was with sex.  He loves sex and I love to say no.  I was pushing him away when he kissed me and not allowing his touch.  I'll admit that it takes me some time to warm up to sex but I wasn't giving him a chance to hit my start button.

I made a decision to change that.  I started being the aggressor.   I have made myself more available to him.  We are talking more and making love more.  Kinky things that were forgotten about have been discusses and negotiated again.  Things like public bondage, rope dress under clothes and age play.  Things that really push my limits.  Things that are really hard for me to submit to.

Another submission issue?  Blow jobs.  I don't remember this but Dragon said I was quite willing to do it when we were newly wed.  He got a little carried away one day and I gagged.  He said that I refused to do it after that.  He has asked me to try a few times in the last year.  I refused.

That has changed in a big way.  I started small with little kisses and worked my way up from there.  Let us just say that he is quite pleased with my progress.  We have both decided it is a great way say good night.  I kneel on the floor, he stands in front of me and I show him just how much he means to me.

Baby steps.  I started small and I am making progress just a little at a time.  He is very pleased with my progress and so am I.  With me being more submissive, he is more willing to step up.  There is still more work to be done.  I was bratty last night.  Edge play was on the table and ran like a scared rabbit.    Why?  I don't know.  But I plan on making up for that tonight!    

Stepping it up

Remember a post a little while ago about incomplete submission? How about the one where Dragon was talking about stepping up DD? Yes those two posts.

 Yep, he sure did. We hadn't even been in the new house two days before Dragon showed me just what was going to happen when I break a rule. I dropped the F bomb at the supper table. Frustrated, tired and ready for bed after a day of bored kids and an empty house. Nothing to entertain them, no hot water, not even a radio.

 Why oh why did I do that? How dumb can I be? That was the VERY first DD rule. That is why DD even got started and I dropped it.

 Supper continued without either one of us even acting like anything happened. After supper was a different story. Out in the garage, away from the kids, Dragon let me know just what he thought about my dirty mouth. It was the worst spanking I have ever had. Other punishments had only been about 6 swats and that was a major spanking. I counted 7 hard ones. Then 10 and the they kept coming! I kept still and didn't complain. My Butt was on fire. It was so hard but I did it. Somewhere around 17 I lost count. Dragon said it was 25 but I can't be fore sure. Tears stung my eyes just from the sting.

 I didn't beg my way out of it or make excuses. I didn't whine for it to stop or call him names. No hands grabbing at the paddle or hiding my backside. I took it!

 Incomplete submission is easier but I am a little proud of myself. Dragon told me that is now a mild spanking. We have been doing this DD thing for a while and it is time to step it up. Punishments need to be memorable so that they won't need to be repeated. Memorable? 25 hard swats with NO warm up isn't memorable? CRAP!

 "Now that we live close to a big city don't forget your seat belt. If you ever do, you will find out how bad a spanking can really be." Ummmm... I don't think I'll be forgetting my seat belt any time soon. 


This is me avoiding that punishment!

 found a snake in the garage today. eeekkkk i won't be going out there without Dragon! I HATE SNAKES! EEEEKKKKKK

i am back!

No dsl, no high speed Internet. I don't live in the wilderness any more. Get with the program people! The good news? I am not back on dial up. Love my cell service. I have this thingy that is smaller than my cell phone. A mobile hot spot. Let's see how that works out. I will write a longer post when I have a full sized key board. A LOT has happened!

Good Bye Internet

We will be moving our circus into the new house tomorrow.  No furniture, no refrigerator or hot water.  The most heart breaking?  NO INTERNET!  But we are all ready to get out of my SIL's house.  A 2 hour drive to work for my husband from where we are not or a 30 minute drive (with city traffic) from the rental house.  Hmmmm  Not a very hard choice to make.

The puppies can come in the house.  We will have a fenced in area for them to play and we can relax a little more in our own place again.  It is so hot today that I am taking my time packing up the camper.  Work a little and then take a break.  It is working for us.  No rush.

On a sad note.  Our cat never got to see the new house.  She started out as a foster cat about 4 years ago.  There was just one problem.  She had feline leukemia and no one wanted her.  After having her in our home for a year we all fell in love with her.  She was home and knew it!  Our beautiful kitten lived a life of luxury.  She had everything a cat could ever want.  Yesterday I went out to the camper to walk the dogs and brush the cat.  Not even an hour latter, my daughter found her dead.  I should have seen it coming.  No appetite, her coat was dull and she wasn't as playful as usual.  We are going to bury her under an old oak tree.  We will all miss her.

On a better note?  DD will go back into full swing.  A house and large garage.  Privacy.  I look forward to it.  We do need to look into our rights as tenants though.  This guy let us know he can come in at any time whether we are home or not.  Not liking that.  I know the law gives us some protection.  Just not sure how much.

Age Play

Kink warning!

Age play can get weird in a hurry but we don't let it.  It is always light hearted and fun.  For a long time we stopped.  I'm not sure why now.  No new little girl panties.  No teasing with lolly pops or pixie stix.  I missed it.

If you read my blog, you know that there has been a lot of talking going on in the Dragon family.  New rules negotiated, a different way to punish, kneeling, corner time and a few more interesting topics.  We have had a lot of pillow talk.  One night this week was age play.

We talked about cute panties and where to find them.  Ribbons and bows.  Lace and all things frilly.  On age play days he picks out my clothes and gets extra protective.  Just like a child I have to stay by his side all day.  Ask permission to eat and to go to the bath room.   He opens doors for me, fastens my seat belt and orders my food for me when we eat out.  No, I don't act like a baby or child.  That would be weird.  The fun part is that no one around us knows we are playing a kinky game.

It is a day for me to feel taken care of and absolutely loved.  The punishments are usually fun "play" punishment and not real.  but they can be if I break a real rule.   In public he whispers in my ear.  Those quiet words push me deep into sub space.

What did Dragon have in mind for today?  A new coloring book and a small box of crayons.  My submission exercise for the day is to go without panties for one hour and color one picture.  The reward for obedience last night was so nice, I made sure I did my task for the day.





Ps.  If you google age play you will find weirdness.  What we do is very Vanilla compared to all that mess.

Incomplete Submission

This is a very hard topic for me to approach.  My heart has been convicted yet again.  Dragon gives so much to our marriage, he deserves my absolute and total submission.  Anything less than 100% of what I have to give is not enough.  I would like to say this all comes from me but it doesn't.  We have been talking.

There are several areas of our marriage that I should be submitting in that I'm not.  It is hard to decide which topic to approach first.  Sexually, obedience, punishment.  I'm not even sure what got to me.  What made me start thinking.  The level of his commitment to me.  Maybe?  Our love for each other?  No way to be sure what it was.

Oh where to start.....   Here goes nothing

Submitting to him sexually has always been hard.  My brain is wired lesbian and I am married to a man.  You can see why saying no to vanilla sex is easy when I should be saying yes.  It is even easier to say no to things that really are hard for me.  Giving him a blow job.  Why is this one act so hard for me?  Why do I keep telling him no?  When he takes me in the ass.  When he wants it, I shouldn't say no.  He makes it feel good.  Embarrassed?  Squicked with the idea of ass play?  Probably a little of both.

And you would think that being a DD couple for a while, I would have this punishment thing down.  Yes?  no....  I whine and plead.  Try my very best to talk my way out of it.  Even when I deserve to be punished, I know if I can put just a little doubt in his head that he will have second thoughts.  When I am finally OTK, I whine and plead.  Wiggle out of the way and put my hands on my backside.  Grab at the paddle and brat.  After only a few swats, I scream that I have had enough and plead with him for it to be over.  Even knowing I can take a lot more.  Knowing that I deserve every swat, I talk him out of it.

What should I be doing?  Saying yes.  It all comes down to obedience and submission.  My own determination to do this thing we do.  Vanilla sex is easy.  I don't have to do anything and a blow job should be just as easy.  Simply open my mouth and take his sex into my mouth.  Keeping my hands on the floor and my whiny mouth shut during discipline!  I can do this.

I even whine when he picks out my clothes.  Lacy panties, a thong or even no panties at all.  A new dress or anything that is outside my comfort zone.  It is past time to trust him.  It is past time to fully submit to him.  To submit to him his way, not mine.

We have been talking a lot.  Enough privacy to spank or play is rare so we have used our time in other ways.  Talking.  Negotiating.  Learning about expectations and discovering disappointments.  The change has already began.  We haven't moved into the new house yet, he needs a day off for us to move.  But things are changing already.  I have already submitted to something hard today.

I can do this...

We can do this together....

And yes, blog friends, I will write about it!



Ps.  why the new background?  We are working on making this rental house a home for our family and working on our own relationship.  We are hereby a construction zone DIY style!

Dragon decided that I needed a submission exercise today.  Shave.  (Not a problem, I was getting tired of growing all that hair down there.  Ick.  I was just waiting for him to say it was ok to shave!)  And get a little self pleasure. (Again not a problem!  Nice, smooth, soft skin needs to be touched.)

He is already talking about another submission exercise for for tomorrow.  Age play?  Okay!  I'm up for it.  I wonder what he has in mind.