Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Independence Day

This is one of the hardest holidays for me. 23 years ago today I went to my father's funeral. I was 18 years old and only a month out of high school. He lost a 2 year battle with ALL. I thought that Dragon's retirement would mean that I would be able to put flowers on his head stone? Not this year. Dragon is trying to figure it out but I don't see a way. Everyone is celebrating and I am crying again. The good news is that I won't have to deal with family. Dragon has things to do and can't leave the area. *** Tonight, I am going to ask for a spanking. Maybe even a full scene. Dragon knows how to help. He knows what I need. I'll ask and leave the rest up to him. I want to fly. Or at least forget for just a little while. Ropes and knives maybe. That will get my mind off of everything. We don't have any fire sticks made. That would add just the right mind fuck to the night. Nothing blows my mind more than seeing flames dance across my skin. The alcohol we use burns away and leaves my skin hot and mostly undamaged. *** Now to wait. Dragon may have to work late tonight. Even if he is tired, he will take the time to help me. He knows how hard it is to put on a smile and act like nothing is wrong. He will do what it takes to make it easier. Love my man just a little

10 comments:

  1. I'm sure he will give you what you need. I think there is "just a little" love between the two of you.

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  2. I hope that you get what you need to take your mind off of things, even if briefly.

    (((hugs)))
    bg (P Surren)

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    1. It turned into such a busy day and then the fire works triggered his PTSD. Fun day but it is over with until next year.

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  3. Awww, I'm sorry this is such a difficult time for you. I'm so glad you have Dragon to give you what you need.
    Hugs...

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    1. The fireworks stopped earlier than I expected them to. We slept in each others arms. He had bad dreams and my tears fell. A normal 4th of July for us. I am thankful that we have eachother.

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  4. I'm sorry to hear how difficult this week is/has been for you. I've lost a parent too, and it never gets any easier no matter how long it has been. I hope you and Dragon find strength and moments of happiness in a tough day/week.

    Despite the tough day, I hope everything else is going well for you. Wishing you the best.

    -- Clint

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    1. We both made it and didn't fall apart until the end of the day. Thanks

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  5. Hey Rose...I am so sorry that the loss of your father is made more difficult by the fact that everyone else is celebrating the day. I'm sure Dragon will give you what you need.

    I do believe you love your Dragon more than a little and I know he loves you more than a little...

    Hugs and Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. It took a few days. Dragon has a new supervisor doing the schedule and keeps messing up. Lots of overtime. I did finally get that much needed spanking.

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