The journey began when we first started dating. I was VERY submissive. Okay. I was beat down and struggling to make it on my own. I was tired of looking for a knight in shining armor. I kept finding snakes. Then along came my dragon.
He was gentile, kind and soft spoken. He had been beat down a little himself by some NCOs that really liked power and didn't care who they stepped on. (there were plenty of those around his entire career) I was beyond broke, living in a house that was falling down around me. He decided that even if we didn't continue to date that he could help me out just a little.
First he filled my house with food. When he began to prepare the meal, he discovered my old fuse box. It had suffered a lightning strike. The entire house was wired into one 110 fuse. He replaced it with a bran new breaker box. Then he decided to figure out why the toilet rocked when you even looked at it. It was propped up by bricks under the house. He fixed the floor. (my mom and neighbor helped finance this repair. Why is there standing water under the house? Oh the kitchen sink wasn't connected to anything. Why? the old pipe was clogged solid with grease. On to another repair.
Soon he was spending more time at my house than he was in his dorm room. Still, he made no demands on me. I washed his laundry, he cut my grass and fixed the house. He watched over us at night in case the boogy man (mean ex-husband) came around. After two full months, I decided that he was around to stay. I knew I wanted him to stay and I invited him to my bed. If he was willing I wanted him to be mine forever.
I asked him to dominate me soon after that night. I had no idea what I wanted at the time but I knew how I wanted to feel. I wanted sub space. Never felt it and had no idea that there was a word for it. He had a few ideas! WEG (this was when only the rich people had internet. it was the newest thing out there and not many people even knew what email was.)
Fast forwards SEVERAL years to about 2005 maybe? Time gets away from me. I had discovered that I wasn't alone in my strange desires. I had discovered the world of kink. The concept of a Dominant and a submissive and all the things two people can do together. Funny, we had done most of them. There was one thing we hadn't tried.
The more I read the more I wanted it. And not the fun kind. I was already a submissive wife but I knew I could do better. I wanted him to MAKE me do better. Oops. That isn't how it works and he wanted nothing to do with it. He said he didn't have time to micromanage my day. I was hurt but continued with what I had been doing. It clicked that I had to submit first and I worked even harder.
Then I discovered this thing called impact play.
Spanking for fun? Well.... if I can't get him to punish me, maybe I can get him to spank my backside for fun. Maybe? He was reluctant but gave it a try. The first spanking was less than satisfying but it was an excellent start. He was using his hand after all. I couldn't expect him to leave my bottom sore the next day. The second spanking happened soon after and he did leave a mark. He felt so guilty. It was sweet. He couldn't understand that I WANTED the marks. I liked my one little round purple bruise. It took him months to spank me again. This time he used a small cherry paddle. It was very nice. We both liked it. He began incorporating impact into our scenes on a regular basis and I was happy with what he could give.
Fast forward another few years...
More than a few deployments leaft us reeling. Our marriage nearly fell apart but we both held on for dear life and it was back on the mend. But.... I had picked up a very bad habit. Somewhere along the way I started using the F@#$ word. Little me that NEVER cusses was using that ugly word in every day conversations? What? I know it is unbelievable. I asked him for help. I wanted to break the habit but was not having any success on my own. I asked for DD again.
What had changed? He was comfortable spanking my backside! He knew what a fun spanking did to my head and was willing to give it a try.
And boy did he ever!