Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Allergies

Last night was hard. I have four kids and two of them have allergies and asthma like their mom. All three of us had a bad reaction to our supper. No idea yet what caused it. Hives, asthma attack, itchy throat and tongue, puffy lips. Oh joy. Talk about changing plans. It went from a nice family evening to dealing with a crisis in a hurry. We didn’t have to use the epi pens but it was a close call. My husband had the phone in his hand while we were waiting for the meds to work. He didn’t sleep at all last night. Up and down checking on us all night and now he has to work all day. I hope he has time to take a lunch break today. A power nap would help.

I didn’t think that our morning sessions were helping. He says they are. Less time on the computer and wallowing in depression. More time working with the kids and getting things done. I have noticed that FB is getting much less attention from me. This morning, the swats were even harder than yesterdays. I squeaked out loud. OOPS. That I why I have a pillow in hand but it didn’t get used. He didn’t go easy for the rest of the swats. Kept right on going until he was satisfied that I would get out of bed today. Talk about motivation. If this is how a preventative spanking feels, I know I DO NOT want punishment. My back side still feels every swat. Ouch. I don’t usually mind the cherry paddle but he used it to great effect.

Lesson of the day: A major medical crisis will delay a longer motivational spanking but hives will not get me out of our morning sessions.

Lesson 2: He is looking for improvement not a 100% turnaround in one day. He is HOH not a dictator.

Good news: I got done what I needed to yesterday. The living room still looks like a rubber maid explosion but I reached my sewing goal for the day. I have set a new goal for today. Lets see how it goes. I have high hopes. I love My Dragon so much. He knows just what I need, even when I don’t.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Hanging of the Green

Bah humbug. If I can’t throw a temper tantrum when I put up the Christmas tree, why do it? I want it my way. The rest of the family doesn’t matter. Ok, now back to reality.
I was hibernating again. Naughty me. Not a spanking offence yet but it probably should be. One thing at a time please???? My Dragon had the Christmas tree half way up. He wanted to make my little flower smile by putting up the tree she wanted. The white one. No screaming. Can you believe it? I know I can’t. The rest of the tree went up with out a single slip. The ornaments are on the tree. No , it does not look ready for the festival of trees. I looks like it was decorated by 4 kids who had ideas of their own of how the tree should look. It is perfect.

I don’t think I earned any swats this time. Got irritated a few times but I bit my tongue. The living room looks like a rubber maid explosion. Paper everywhere. I am calm. Could that have something to do with the benadryl I had to take? Or the maintenance spanking I received this morning? A new found piece I didn’t have before? Probably a little of all Three.

Ps.  I didn't even blink when he didn't find the cord the pre-lit tree before it was decorated.  However, I did get a good laugh at his expense.  and just in case you were wondering, I can still feel the swats from this morning. 

The Holiday Season

I have never had a “blog” before but I wanted a place to record our journey together. I fist asked my husband to spank me several years ago. He didn’t want to. That thing about NO hitting girls that all little boys learn. I wanted domestic discipline then but he said that we were not ready. He was right as always. He didn’t say no. He said wait.

My little house of cards fell down. Crushed under the foot of mistrust, hurt and anger. Those vows were “for better or for worse”. I took those seriously and so does he. We put the pieces back together and remade our marriage. We went through hell and came out the other side stronger and closer than ever. We spent a few years dating, healing and getting to know each other again. Had a great time doing it too.

One day I realized that I had picked up some bad habits. My husband tried to point them out but I ignored them. Slowly I began to realize that yes, I was wrong and needed to change. As hard as I tried to make things right, I failed. Just couldn’t do it. My temper and mouth were out of control. I was afraid to ask for his help. I asked several years ago and he shrugged me off. (so I thought) What he did was get his head around the idea. We spent several days talking, negotiating. He jumped at the idea. He was tired of my attitude
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Maintenance. The first time didn’t go at all. He knows how to spank me. I don’t know he went so easy on my back side. I felt silly and walked away without even a sting. The second time was a different story. My backside was sore for days and my attitude changed instantly. I have earned two punishments but did not receive them. Life got in the way. Family emergencies, company, kids. Since we were about to go out on a date I didn’t think it was fair for a punishment to ruin the evening. He agreed.

Fast forward to this holiday season. In that I include Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. I always have a major melt down this time of year. Loss marks the season with tears. Add to that all the things that need to be done. Extra house cleaning, decorating, special dinners and celebrations. I want everything perfect. When it isn’t, I melt down. My temper tantrums ruin the holidays for everybody. This year I hope is different. My husband holds me accountable for my behavior now with more than just a look of disapproval. He will take to the seat of the matter.

I asked for daily maintenance yesterday. Lets see how that goes. Can’t believe I did that. On day 2 and boy does my backside sting. It is needed but now let’s see if we can both do this. We tend to back out of one of us isn’t feeling 100%. Yep, that is most of the time. Here we are on day two. Yesterday was mild. This morning was a bit stiffer. Longer, harder. I had a hard time keeping quiet even with my face in a pillow.