Growing Up

When you are a teenager 40 is middle-class aged.  60 is old and anything over that is just ancient.  You remember.  Right? 

I'm right in the middle of what I would have called middle aged and I am feeling it. 

One friend had a heart attack.  Then another died from complications of bariatric surgery.  Stroke, gall stones, kidney stones.  And now cancer. 

He is younger than I am.  He has a pre schooler and a daughter that has grown up and moved out.  Last week he landed in the ER with pain beyond anything he could handle.  They kept him all day and eventually told him he had a mass.  That mass was biopsied.  It is cancer. 

A younger cousin got dizzy and passed out at work.  She went to the ER in an ambulance.  They found a goofball sized tumor in her brain.  Her marriage just ended, she is now a single mother and facing brain surgery.  They haven't done a biopsy but they believe it is benign.  We can pray.  That is all any of us can do. 

But there is good too.  My daughter and granddaughter are visiting.  Two of my kids are out of high school and working toward their future.  One in college.  One in trade school.  The oldest almost has her GED.  Dragon had a pay cut but his hours are going to be cut to match. Only working 5 days a week instead of 6.  I am going back to school whenever the school tells me which credits transfer.  I was a junior when I dropped out so I should just have core classes to finish.

I'm worried, sad, excited and optimistic.  I almost feel like a schizophrenic or maybe a hormonal teenager.  Life goes on. 

Life Got Busy

I thought life would settle down as my kids get older and grow up. 

Nope. 

What was I thinking?  It is even more hectic! 

I got lucky.  My kids don't hate me.  Even as young adults they are respectful, giving and kind.  My oldest is almost done with her GED.  We home school but if they don't do the work, they don't graduate.  The next daughter is in college.  She wants to go to law school!  And the one that just graduated is getting ready to go out of state for school. Yikes!  That leaves one kid still in high school.  It is going by in a blur. 

Now for my big new!  I am going back to college with a new degree plan!  Since the junior college is cheaper, I'm going to take a few of the requirements there.  I have all the basics but a few of my classes didn't transfer.  I need a government class instead of world history and my sign language class won't transfer as a foreign language.  That gives me a chance to get my feet under me before I am in the university going full time.   I have the university picked out. 

I am so nervous.  The application process has begun and my transcripts have been sent.  We shall see how it goes.  The kids were worried about what I would do after they all moved out.  They know now! 

I am excited, nervous, worried.  Can I do this?  I want to get a master's degree.  We shall see!