Monday, August 19, 2013
Panic and sub space
The house was quiet. The kids in bed, dogs crated and the cat curled up in her bed. Dragon took my hand and led me to the garage. I have a nice little area fixed up. I use the space for my daily workout and a retreat when the house gets to loud. Now it is a play space too!
♥♥♥♥
Dragon took my camisole and bra off. "are you ready to submit?" Yes I was. In no time at all, he had me deep into sub space. He finished up with the floggers and restrained my arms with stretch wrap. I was purring until he touched my neck. Then he did it again. I was deeply into sub space and unable to use safe words. He did it again and I absolutely panicked. Fear hit me in a way that it hasn't in years. I fought the restraints, heart rate spiked and I was gasping for breath. Dragon ripped the shrink wrap off to free my arms and sat in front of me. I was still so deep into my own head that talking me down didn't work. He had to play me down. Lots of touch, his voice and making me open my eyes. He had to get me aware enough to walk back in the house. Boy it was hard. All I wanted to do was sleep.
♥♥♥♥
Since we don't have a bed or even a couch out there yet, it wasn't a good idea at all. It took about 30 minutes but he finally brought me back to planet earth. I slept in his arms all night. No bad dreams and no worries. For one night, all was good in the world.
♥♥♥♥
All I can say this morning is WOW! Why yes, I had a great weekend. Thank you very much.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Oh wow, that sounds a little scarey. I'm glad he knew how to help you get through it. No good in having two people panic. Good to hear it had a happy ending. ^_^
ReplyDeleteHas this happened before? I know you mentioned him touching your neck, and I'm still catching up on blogs. Do you mind if I ask about it?
~Autumn
I am very protective of my neck and face. I asked him to push my limits. He did. The third time he touched my neck was too much for me. That is what safe words are for but he had already pushed so hard that I was not capable of speaking. Even with panicking, he still had to talk me down from the head space.
DeleteIt is a deeply relaxed state that can only be achieved with absolute trust. A step or two beyond sub space. It is called flying. Where awareness floats away. My focus becomes hisvvoice and what he is doing. Sensations. Almost like floating on ocean waves or currants of air. Up becomes down, down becomes up. Hot and cold get mixed up. Pain and pleasure are the same thing.
Ah, I see... that makes more sense now. There are a lot of people who have issues with the neck area in particular, my family is familiar (some of them are trained) in bodywork and that is a big thing to 'ask' a client before you touch them or do anything in that area.
DeleteI've never been in any kind of "sub space" before. My closest feeling toward that end was my "Silent Submission" post. J and I aren't quite far enough along to have that kind of trust yet, we are learning to trust each other in this as we learn to trust ourselves. I did find that I enjoyed the spanking much more when I "let go" of the control I was holding onto with my comments and 'advice' on spanking. But still... nowhere near subspace. ;)
Thank you for the clarification. ^_^
~Autumn
Sounds like a perfectly wonderful weekend.
ReplyDeleteIt was. The truck still has some problems but it is back on the road
DeleteI love that Dragon pushed your limits and knew exactly what to do when He needed to talk you down. You guys are amazing!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat an incredible weekend!
He pushed just a little too hard. Some times it is hard for him to judge where I am when I go silent. His comment about the scene? Scissors closer next time. He couldn't leave my side to walk three steps away to get them.
DeleteHey Rose...so happy things are looking up for y'all. You said in a previous post that you wanted Dragon to push your limits and it looks like he did. I love the way he talked you back. You have got a real gem in your Dragon don't you and of course he's got a gem in you also! ;)
ReplyDeleteSending lots of positive energy your way.
Blessings,
Cat
Things are getting better. I knew that they would. It was just a matter of getting over the hump. He still needs to job hunt but has to be home to do it. Working 60 to 70 hours a week makes it hard. We know he is a pointed vet. We should find out how many points soon. Probably 15. Most vets are 5 to 10. That will help with the job hunt
DeleteThis is beautiful Rose. It shows the trust that you have in him and the care he takes with you. That's the reason we do what we do and it is lovely to see it played out. I'm glad you are feeling better.
ReplyDeletehugs
p
Without D/s or DD we wouldn't have the level of trust we do. I feel much better. Thank you
ReplyDelete