Monday, December 10, 2012

CRAZY

That is how I feel this morning.  I am craving a punishment.  The hard, stinging swats that feel like they will never end.  The tears stinging my eyes and almost falling.  The humiliation....

And most of all?  The deep submission I feel after it is over.  The emotion  that nearly forces me to my knees in front of my Dragon.

I know.  Absolutely stock raving mad kind of crazy.


We have no money to buy the kids Christmas presents.  I have one gift each hidden in my bedroom closet.  That is it and they aren't even wrapped.  And I am still expected to buy presents for the family Christmas party.  I don't even want to go to this stinking party.  NO WAY.  My mother in law will be there and I am sure she will be in fine form.  I wish I could get her husband a birch bundle.  Do you think that would give him a good hint?

"Hey jackass, you wife is being mean again.  She needs a little kindness beat into her stubborn mean ass."

Ok not kind thoughts.  I know.  But what am I supposed to think?  When my niece wasn't going to get Christmas everybody rallied together and sent money.  I guess my kids don't matter as much.  It sounds petty but when it comes to my kids being treated differently by family, I am allowed.  His family doesn't like me and they take it out of the kids.  They always have.  Why should I expect any different this year.

Here is what i have hidden away.

Mina  A practice changer for bagpipe lessons
Pooh Bear  a kindle paper white
Flower  A leather jacket from jammin leather
Bug  new bedding for his "man cave"  He outgrew his Micky Mouse bedding or so he said.

one nice gift each and I still need to find the money to pay the man for the chanter. I know a big Christmas isn't possible this year but I would like to get them two more gifts each.  They each have the #1 thing on their list.  We have one more paycheck between now and the big day.  I hope we have a little extra in that check for a few more gifts.

11 comments:

  1. Well if that is crazy I must be insane.


    And I think one present each is perfectly acceptable. I know I have been a bit stressed about Christmas myself this year. Definitely don't have the money to get everyone I want a present. Just have to remember what the holidays are really about. The most important thing is that you have your family.

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    1. What bothers me most about this Christmas is the "mandatory" presents for extended family. They wanted to draw names and wanted us to participate. Why oh why didn't pressure Dragon to say no? No way will we do this next year. I hate it.

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  2. Ughhh. I hate the idea that presents are "mandatory". Presents are a gift in my opinion. They are freely given because of how it makes us feel to do something nice for someone we care about. I don't think there is anything wrong with saying no to something that isn't in the best interest of you or your family. Just my two cents. Sometimes we have to make tough, unpopular choices. Good luck :)

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    1. There is always next year. We will not be doing this again. I don't like it at all.

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  3. You are such a talented seamstress, I am sure you will come up with something. If that's not possible, consider volunteering at the family members favorite charity and donating your time in their name or gift certificates for a casserole, or cake or something of that nature.

    Or here's a thought, consider a bundle of birch, add some cinnamon sticks, a red bow and you have a practical Christmas decoration that could provide some hints to others.

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    1. two of the ladies on the list are getting aprons. The third may bet an apron too. Have to see what I can find in my fabric stash! Love the idea of the birch bundle as decoration. LOL He may get the hint yet and use them on MIL. I would probably fall over from laughing too hard.

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  4. Being crazy is a lovely gift.
    Let all the serious people be as serious as they wish.
    I have never had a Christmas present in my life and I managed to survive that ordeal. Still have fond memories of Christmas.
    Dawn is completely right. Mandatory presents aren't gifts but they are taxes. Everybody pays, nobody gets anything he likes.
    The presents for the kids sound wonderful.
    Does Santa have a present for you and Dragon?

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    1. It does feel like a tax. Pay up or we won't love you any more. I just hate changing our family traditions this year. No Santa Claus. Just one wrapped gift from Mom and Dad.

      I am sure Dragon (aka Santa) has something in mind for his rose. WEG

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  5. Yeah I can't stand mandatory christmas presents from extended family, mostly because these people don't always do it, and therefore one year we get something, then maybe next year we won't. Really annoying.
    And it sounds you have very lovely gifts for your kids!

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    1. It is what they wanted. I just hope they aren't disappointed.

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  6. I too hope you can make some things that this family will enjoy. This kind of financial stress is not what you need!

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