Outside my kitchen window is a bird feeder. It is just a cheap plastic tube I picked up at Dollar General. Nothing fancy.
I hung it up in the tree last fall. The birds ignored it.
The grass turned from green to brown and the trees lost their leaves. And still the birds ignored the feeder.
Then the snow came.
Snow is not common down here in the south. We can go years without seeing a single flake. When the snow falls schools close, highways shut down and the city looks like a ghost town.
It wasn't very much snow. Just an inch or so. We were not impressed.
But the birds were! They huddled under the camper. It didn't provide much shelter but it is what they had. And still they ignored the feeder.
Finally Dragon went outside and threw some seeds under the camper and in the driveway where the snow had melted. He wasn't stingy with it either. He gave them enough to fill their hungry bellies. Now the birds won't stay away. I love it.
Watching the birds the other day I thought about my marriage with Dragon. It is filled with love and affection. Just like the bird feeder is filled with food. If I ignore the birds for more than two days, the feeder is emptied and the birds go away. I have to be diligent and keep the feeder filled.
With my relationship, we have to keep it well fed with love and affection. It doesn't happen automatically. It takes work and attention. If we were to ignore our need for these things eventually we would forget that we ever needed them. Our marriage would be as empty as the bird feeder is when I forget to check on it. We would find other ways to fulfill our needs and the marriage would be broken.
When was the last time you had a date night? A movie? They symphony or a car show? Maybe a picnic or even put-put golf. What do you like to do together?
Go out have some fun, just the two of you. Keep your marriage fed and you will keep coming back for more.
What a wonderful post. I really needed to hear this today. Thank you for making me think!
ReplyDeleteYou are welcome.
DeleteRelationships take work and when we stop working and trying, they begin to crumble.Really great post. Very well said!
ReplyDeleteThank you Sarah
DeleteTruer words could not be written and that's what makes ttwd, no matter how you do it, so great. It allows us a way to feed each other on a continuous basis.
ReplyDeleteAs a younger person one was never very affectionate, sexual yes but not affectionate. One rule Daddy put in place was that if we are sitting one was always to be touching him in some sort of way, even if its just a leg pressed up against his. It really has changed how much one needs closeness and expects it, not only with him but with the children as well.
Your analogy was great.
loved this post, rose. my hubby and i try to go out every week, but if we're really swamped we go for twice a month. i love spending time with him. thank you for the lovely post.
ReplyDeletem.
Oh, thank you for those prompts. I need constant reminders to make more time to feed our relationship (alone, without kids). I live in the south too-- it snowed this year for the first time in 10 years-- my kids were so excited they made snowballs and put them in the freezer. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat analogy and advice. We need to remember to nurture our marriages if we want to keep it alive and exciting.
ReplyDeleteThis is a brilliant post, Rose, and a very apt allegory. We love our children but we prize our special time, date nights & the time we make every night just to connect. It's so important, as you said, that we feed each other.
ReplyDelete(((hugs)))