(Warning: I use the S word in this post. If that offends, you might want to stop here. I found comfort in Dragons arms)
So many disasters this close together. The bombs at the Boston Marathon, some kind of explosion in Oklahoma City and then the fertilizer plant in West, Texas. I have been on the edge of tears since the bombing. They finally fell when I found out the first responders, fire fighters and a deputy died in the explosion in Texas. I kept thinking about Dragon and couldn't help but be thankful that we live too far away for him to respond. My imagination is my enemy.
It was after midnight. For a change, Dragon didn't try anything when we went to bed at 10. He checked the news one more time, email and face book. Then he rolled over and went to sleep. I didn't have to ask why. He was triggered and wanted to be left alone to deal with it for a while. I needed his arms around me but I knew that would come in time.
I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I saw flames and images so graphic I won't describe here. When the going gets tuff I turn to fiction. I was re-reading a story out of a book called "Deep in the Heart of Texas" Yes it is spanking fiction and has stories by three different authors. The stories are all related which makes it a bit longer than your average spanking romance. That is why I like it so much and keep going back to it. The stories are disappointingly short and short on detail but that seems to be a rule for spanking fiction.
About the time Dragon rolled over to hold me, I had gotten to a hot seduction scene. The more I read, the more I craved Dragons touch. I mumbled, "take me." He was more awake than I though. In no time at all my panties were pushed down and he was caressing my backside.
Spanking fantasies on his part? Probably...
Next thing I know he has me on my knees and is ready to take me.
Last night he took me hard and fast. Perfect for the mood I was in. Guess it was perfect for him too. Sex puts me in a very submissive state of mind, especially that position. I feel absolutely taken and dominated. He was in top space and I could feel it with every inch of my body. Seemingly with no regard for me needs but just what I needed at the same time. Brutal and fast.
I fell asleep in his arms.
Perfect
Ps. I googled fibromyalgia. My symptoms don't fit the old standard but there was a form to fill out for the new standard. I filled it out. I scored on the high side. Not good. But it doesn't explain the pain in my feet.
I think I over did it yesterday. I guess it is good that the weather is going to be bad all day. No gardening today.
Glad you and dragon connected.
ReplyDeleteThe things that have happened this week are horrible. I didn't know about the deaths in the explosion in Texas :( I knew there were deaths, but I didn't know it was who it was, I should say.
Sex puts me in a submissive state of mind, too.
Hugs,
Elle
I think we both needed to feel alive. The reassurance that we are there for each other.
DeleteAwful things going on - awful times. We all need to send our prayers to the people in these places.
ReplyDeleteGlad you were able to make your fantasy real! Very important!
Re your worry that it could be fibromyalgia - if you contact Jan at English Rose blog, she suffers from it and can tell you all about it. I think Terpsicore may have it too. They are both dancers. It is very painful and I do hope it isn't what you have. I'm sending you lots of soothing hugs.
Ami
Bad things will always happen. My concern is how it will affect Dragon. He is having a hard day at work. The explosion in West triggered his PTSD symptoms in a bad way. They got him out of the office and on the move. That will help.
DeleteI looked up fibromyalgia at the suggestion of another blogger. It really isn't high on my worry list. Just something else to add to the list of possibilities. I just want to know what is wrong so I can start feeling better.
Keep praying for those directly affected by the recent events and for those who are struggling with PTSD triggers.
That was a great post. I feel the same about sex making you submissive.
ReplyDeleteM.
Hope Dragon was helped by your submission too.
ReplyDeleteI think it did help him. I am not usually the aggressor for sex. He always gets things going. I didn't ask for a scene. It surprised him in a good way.
DeleteHappy that you were able to give each other comfort. Sending lots of prayers and healing energy for both of you.
ReplyDeletePS...check your email.
Hugs and Blessings,
Cat
Thanks Cat!
DeleteDragon had a hard day at work today until they had to send him out on an emergency errand. He was on the move for most of the day and came home balanced. Not the crazy wild of hiding a flashback.
Praying for you both, Rose. Out guys may see more than most, Daddy is 'prowly' too. I'm glad that you were able to bring each other comfort, and I understand the need you speak of all too well.
ReplyDelete(((hugs)))
And just an FYI - for your knowledge - you don't have to publish - but I don't see an email - here's a couple of links that may be helpful:
ReplyDeletehttp://chronicfatigue.about.com/b/2010/08/12/foot-pain-in-fibromyalgia-chronic-fatigue-syndrome.htm
http://www.arthritistoday.org/tools-and-resources/expert-q-and-a/fibromyalgia-questions/foot-hand-pain.php
http://www.everydayhealth.com/fibromyalgia/when-fibromyalgia-affects-your-feet.aspx
Hope you find something useful:) (((hugs)))
Wow. The other links I went to said noting about foot pain. I know it isn't plantar fasciitis. Nothing fits for that to be the problem. Thanks
Delete