The automatic shower

I usually shower late Saturday night but I was tired.  That bed was calling my name.  I snuggled down and didn't even think about church.

Oops.

I ended up sharing an early morning shower with my Dragon.  He was almost done when I stepped under the water.  As soon as I had conditioner in my hair, he started scrubbing my back.  Slowly, he worked his way around my body top to bottom.

I felt loved, pampered, embarrassed, aroused, childish.  I wanted to push him away.  I wanted to pull him closer.  So many conflicting feelings. I didn't know what to do.  I submitted.  To everything.  To him because it is what he wanted and by the time he was done, I wanted more.

We are talking, renegotiating DD and BDSM.   Those kninky, fun things we do.  We have blurred the lines between DD and BDSM. That really helped him get going again. Realizing that those two aspects can be mixed and lines can be blurred.  Punishment doesn't have to be tears, fear and pain. It can be sexual torture, orgasm denial.  Kinky fun pushed just a little further than we normally go.

A ginger plug can be carved larger than usual.  Clamps just a little tighter and left on longer than I like. Kneeling, nudity, the cold garage, even role play.  Anything. Everything. TTWD is what we make it.

Our relationship doesn't have to look like anyone else's!  It can and should be unique to us.

One small step at a time.  I have submitted to almost every demand he has made for months.  It has been easy.  As he demands more, I hope I have the courage to keep submitting.

Off to a Great Start

The very first day of the new year, we slept in. Dragon was busy rocking my world with his magic hands.  Hands still busy, he looked up at me and smiled.

" We're getting back into it.  We're doing it the right way this time."

Yes we are my dearest Dragon.

DD is completely back and so is the fun.  I very rarely say no.  I don't feel the need to and safe words are rarely used.

Yesterday, we cleaned up the play space in the garage.  An old rug headed for the garbage, the floor was swept, mats washed and equipment wiped down.

After we were done we were both shivering but we both needed the spanking we had planned when we went out there to work.

Coat still on, jeans lowered just enough to expose the target.  The much needed spanking happened.  My backside still shows the evidence!   And to be honest, it wasn't that bad.  It was a bit chilly but I didn't freeze my toosh off. The paddle warmed things up nicely.  After I got past the initial ouch and started to submit it was actually kinda nice. Yes it hurt.  I have a multi colored backside to prove it! But the cold didn't matter as much as I thought it would.

We are both more willing to brave the cold for a punishment now and for a little fun too!  He wants a scene out there with me totally nude.  I have to admit that I want to do it!  

I asked Dragon if DD is back. He said  "ABSOLUTELY!  Watch your Ds and see what happens when you break a rule."  Yep.  Dragon is back and I am very happy to see it.  I just hope that my backside has a chance to heal before he decides to test my limits again.

The New Year

2015 is coming to an end and tomorrow is a new beginning. 

My marriage survived another year of PTSD, loss and new life.  It has been a rough ride.  I am happy to say good bye to the old and hopefully welcome in a new year.  Maybe next year will be better.

I don't do resolutions.  Those never work out but I'll continue to make my weekly and monthly goals.  My goal for the week is to walk everyday and do a short workout.  The next week goal is to do the warm up portion of a workout video along with my walk.  The dogs do need exercise too!  The mid way goal is to get rid of the back boobs and the long term goals remain the same.  Do a pull up and run a 5k. 

DD is what it is.  It will probably continue much as it has.  On again, off again unless I break one of his major rules. 

Have a Happy New Year and may 2016 be the best year ever!

The Punishment

Dragon was cold when he finally got home from work.  The rain was falling in wind blown sheets and ice cold.  Flooding forced us to cancel our plans.  We would have needed an amphibious vehicle to go anywhere.  The rain just won't stop.

We put away the groceries.  Dragon had to buy them in the city.  Our little small town grocery didn't have power.  No refrigerated food at all.  The entire family worked together to get dinner on the table.

After a hot meal, he felt much better.  Dragon sent me to the bedroom and followed soon after.  I expected a trip to the garage but he wanted to stay warm. Pants and panties removed, I figured out how he intended to punish me with a full house.  Ginger!  He placed some against my bits and then a full finger into my backside.  FIGGING!

During one of those discussions where we reevaluate hard limits, I took punishing my ass off the list.  I let him know that we needed quiet punishments and that could be one.  Plugs, ginger and sex were added to the soft limit like. Meaning, I may not like it but I'll submit.  I added things that I already struggle with.  He decided that it was time to do it.

After the ginger was firmly in place, he had me dress and go put away dinner.  (Don't show any discomfort.  No wiggling or squirming.)  After the table was cleared and teeth brushed it was time for bed.  To make sure that the ginger did its job, he had me perform oral.  With my bottom burning, it wasn't hard.

Dragon removed the ginger and took my burning backside hard and fast.  Just goes to show that a little prep goes a long way.  My obedience with the plugs paid off.  He took his pleasure without hurting me and left me wanting more.
With strict instructions not to finish the job myself, he went to sleep.

I still feel the burn of the ginger.  My body aches to finish what he started.  But I know that submitting to his every demand pleased him.  After he was done I was deep into subspace.  The impersonal handling makes me not want to repeat the experience. That and not being allowed to climax myself.

Definitely a punishment.

I wonder what he will come up with for next time.  I am almost afraid to ask. Only almost.  I trust him completely.  Heart and body.

Confession and Submitting

Life has been hectic.  So much going on that we are in survival mode.  Dragon is very much the HOH.  When I forget he is quick to remind me.  We have even started back with the submission games.  Things that push me hard.

All that is great.  It has kept us close during hard times.

But.....

Something is missing and I need it.

Our play time is already serious.  It pushes my boundaries hard but I NEED punishment.

Not a barn burner every week but enough to know there are consequences.

Since I need it and Dragon actually does enjoy it, I confessed.  When I mess up and I need the slate wiped clean I am going to tell Dragon.  He isn't a mind reader.  Nor is he home to see that the rules are followed.  Once I confess my part is done.  What happens from there is up to him.

He has an arsenal of punishments.  Some take effort from him.  Some take effort from me.  Reflection time, paddle, belt, kneeling, ginger, toothpaste, loss of privileges.  Which one he picks is up to him.

The first confession today was my mouth.  I have let a few ugly words slip in the past week.  The garage is cold but I have a sneaking feeling that my backside is going to be bare and on fire.  Dragon hates it when I cuss but he understands stress too.  The only question in my mind is if he is going to use the paddle or the belt.

It won't take long.

It won't even take much effort on his part.

We shall see....

Am I strong enough to keep this up?

Twas the Night Before Christmas

And my mind is on a blogger,
Gone several years ago.
Cancer took his life.
He left behind a lovely wife.

Corny I know but I am miss Bass from over at A New Life in DD.  If you ever wonder whether or not you make a difference on blog land, just think of old Bass.  He shire made a difference for me.

Dragon had retired from the military only a few months before.  Our house in the north west finally sold but it cost us dearly.  $500 to repair a broken window.  There was very little money for Christmas presents.  Just a few cheap gifts and I was in tears.  Christmas is a time of giving and we had so little to give our own children.

Bass patiently reminded me about the true meaning of Christmas. A tiny baby born long ago.  He reminded me that I have raised good kids who aren't selfish.  He took my grinch attitude and put a smile back on my face.  He did this while fighting a losing battle with cancer.

Bass, you are missed.

Merry Christmas to those who stop by. Thank you for being there this year while we celebrated the life of an Uncle gone before his time.  Thank you for reminding me that we do have  reason to celebrate.

Keeping Things Tidy

I was shaving my bits long before it was popular.  Before the internet was there to give any guidance on the delicate process.  I did the best I could with what little information I had.  I did it because I liked feeling clean and being clean shaven made that so much easier.

Over the years shaving has become routine.  I rarely miss a day.  Even just a little growth makes me feel icky.  It takes less than a minute to get the job done.  Not perfect but good enough.  Sometimes I take a little more time because there are those hard to reach areas that I tend to miss.

Occasionally I get a little lazy and ask Dragon to help out.  Okay, I'll admit it. It's not being lazy. I think it is erotic to be shaved.  He is so gentle and takes extra time with those hard to get spots.  He even gets that spot that I always seem to miss.

A towel under my backside. Him positioned between my legs.  It is erotic, comforting and a little embarrassing all at the same time.  By the time he is done, I am in subspace.

It will be a few weeks before Dragon will have the time to dedicate to the task.  Right now the Christmas rush is still in full swing.  Somehow, I don't think I am going have to beg very hard.

Soon....