Fitness

I have been . Running /walking on the treadmill off and on for about a month.   More off than on and my jog looks more like creeping along.  

BUT!!!!  I am moving.

After my first time in my favorite sundress this year,  I noticed my bat wings.  

You know what I am talking about.   That pocket of fat that swings under your arm when you wave?   Yep, that one.   It is like waving twice.   Two for the price of one.  

My work out space is in the garage.  No heat or AC.   Iccan deal with the heat in the summer but not the cold.   My space has been neglected for months.

I got depressed and discouraged when I saw the that flap of flesh waving at me.   I wanted to hide and wear long sleeves all summer.  

Well, down here that isn't going to happen.   The summer lasts to long.  About 6-8 months of blistering hot weather.   By the end of the heat, even my blinding white legs will be tan.   I am not wearing a jacket all summer.  

I am not going to put up with the bat flaps either.  

Today, I went back to the garage.  The first p90x video in the Dvd player.   Tony Horton offering words of encouragement.  

I currently struggle with.....

Instead of my favorite words "I can't"

Then I see a Link a friend posted on Facebook.  I think this is not a coincidence.  

I did the best I could with the push ups.  Now it is time to hit the treadmill.   One mile, even withjjogging, will take me about 25 minutes.  Maybe longer but I am moving.  

As long as I don't give up, the bat flaps won't win
 
Ps.  My little room got used last night for a little fun.  The floggers came out.   He used them heavy and hard.   I jumped and flinched with every strike but it felt like heaven.  

Love my little space.   Useful for so many things.

Late Night Phone Calls

My oldest daughter called me about 2 am.   She has been dating a man I really didn't approve of for several months.   Nothing serious but I was worried about my girl.   He is in the country illegally and drinks like a fish.

Last night he demanded sex.   He got angry when she said no.   Last year, she would have given in.   Last night she said, "I'm done. No more."

Three times she listened to the crap boys will say just to get sex.   She finally got smart!  I am one proud momma.   She said NO!

This is a small victory but with her, I'll take what I can get.  



Going to the Dogs

We visited the local pound.   I spent a little time with every dog, big and small.   They were either to small or to old.   So many sweet animals.   I wanted to bring half of them home with me but it wasn't possible.

I need a puppy to train that is going to get about 30 inches tall at the shoulders.   None of them had potential to get that size.   It was so hard to leave them behind.   So many sweet wiggle butt dogs.  

I'll keep looking.   The goal is to check out the pound about about every two weeks.   It is to hard to go more often.   I want to save all of them.

Going to the Dogs

As you know I am looking for another dog to train as a service dog.  I have considered several breeds.   I look at temperament, intelligence, health and height.

The first dog I am going to write about is the Great Dane.  Perfect height, trainable, great temperature.   An all around great dog.   They are truly gentile giants.  

The problem comes with the health issues.    Hip dysplasia, elbow issues, gastric issues and my boy had allergies.   They only live to the ripe old age of 6. That is the average.My sweet boy only lived 4 years.

Since my phone doesn't want to let me add a photo, I'll add a Link instead.

And how about a video?  If you can't see it, do a search for great dane cuddles with baby. Unfortunately, due to the health issues, I won't be getting another dane.   They just don't live long enough.  

Confession and Penance

I went to confession for the very first time last week.   I was terrified but it turned out that it wasn't so bad.   I know the priest so he isn't that scary.   He is about my age so I don't see him as a father figure or a child.  

So what is the problem?   I have discovered this thing called Catholic Guilt.   The blessing and penance just wasn't enough.  

Why?

That is the easy part.   I am a spanko and have been in a dd relationship to long.  

I talked it over with Dragon and he came to the same conclusion that I did.   I need the physical correction.   Not necessarily a punishment but something to clean my self conscious.  

Next time I go to confession,  I'll do my penance from the priest.   I'll say my prayers and then I'll face Dragon.   He will be fair but he knows what my heart needs.  

Love my Dragon just a little.

State Law

When we first moved to Texas state law made my service dog illegal.   I could have fought to bring the state laws in line with federal law but I didn't need the stress.   I retired my dog and he enjoyed a year as a pampered pet until age caught up with him.   Danes are great dogs but unfortunately they don't live long lives.

Something happened at church to make me dig into the legal books again.   People with service animals and those training them should always be considerate.  They should always follow the law.   I discovered that the law had CHANGED!

This is great news.   I have never had a dog trained by someone else.  I have always trained my own dogs to do what I need them to do.   When I looked into the cost of purchasing a service dog, I got discouraged and gave up.

The change means that I am now looking for a dog to train.   With a dog, I have independence. I can go ffor a walk or run without someone holding my hand.  I am so excited.

Take a deep breath.   Breath!   Looking for the right dog to train takes time and I need to save my pennies.

But....

I can have a dog again!

Just for Fun

Dragon got home just as I was putting his meatloaf in the oven.   It is one of my least favorite dishes but since it is stuffed full of allergens, I don't feel obligated to eat it.   I set the timer and gave the kids instructions.   Then we headed out to the garage.  

My little room made out of tarps and an area rug is great.   I don't feel so exposed.   It feels private and cozy.  

Dragon sat down in his chair and tapped his lap.   He made me undress myself.  Different but okay.   I wiggled into a comfortable position and it began.  

Little taps with a few stinging swats mixed in
  Then fewer of the taps and more sting.  

Just as we were really getting into it, we heard the kids outside the garage.   It felt to much like an invasion of privacy for both of us.   We were done.

No sub space.  No sex.   I consider spanking to be making love and so does Dragon.   It felt good.   In that short time, we were able to reconnect in a small way.  

I just wish it had lasted a little longer.   I want to feel the sting and soreness the next day.   It will come but I am impatient.  

I asked for a clear the air punishment but Dragon said no.   It was so much better his way.

Things I need to work on.
*staying still. (I am a wiggle butt)
*not whining when it starts to sting a little
*asking for what I need more often
*submitting to punishment (if he asks if I need a punishment, he knows I deserve it)

Time for the treadmill, shower then sewing.   I need a new bra.

DRAGON!

Yep, he is very much HOH.   Even if it feels like he has stepped back from TTWD there are times he steps up.

He gave me a task today and made sure to tell me that not doing it is punishable.   If I don't make real progress on my current sewing projects I will get spanked.

Yikes

But isn't this what I want?

Yes but no but maybe yes?

I don't even know any more.   The worst part?   I am thinking about not doing the task just to see if he will follow through.   Give him a lame excuse and see what happens.

No,  I am not really going to do it but it is a thought.   It has been so long since the last on.

See?  Writing does help.   I know what I am going to do.

The plan?  Do the task.  Do my very best.  When Dragon gets home from work, show him what an honest days work really produces and ask for the much needed punishment.   I have been lazy, defiant and not telling Dragon the truth when it comes to food.

What inspired all this?  My first confession to the priest.   I didn't mention dd but I realized how much I haven't been doing and the negative habits that I have been hiding.  It puts a wedge in our relationship that doesn't need to be there.

I think Dragon knows but has been waiting for the right time to call me on it.

I'll fix his favorite meal tonight and spend a little time confessing to my Dragon. I know how it is going to end.  With my bare backside red but it will be a good thing.

I have no doubt that I will be spanked.  My worry is how bad will it be.   The last punishment was tuff but it was over a year ago
  Best to get it over with.

Now to survive the day

Update : I haven't heard from Dragon yet.  It is still to early for him to get off work.   I talked to him this morning about inventory and we both decided that it really isn't needed.   I don't need to count the stock.  Just update the list with the two new machines.  The other task he assigned was to work on a project.   LOTS of progress made.  The pattern is altered and re drafted.   The fabric is cut and I am ready to sew.     All that is left is confession.   It is easy to confess to the priest.  Much harder to do the same with Dragon.