Early Morning Spankings

Two mornings in a row Dragon woke me in grand style.  With the paddle!  He loves to wake me with kisses and love making.  That is the norm.  The paddle isn't a new idea but it has been a while since he has used it that way.

Sunday morning the sun was up but neither one of us wanted to start the day.  He decided it was time to get moving but I had other ideas.  After fooling around like two teenagers for about 30 minutes he decided it was time.  The covers came down and he grabbed the only paddle left in the house.  Balsa.

Balsa is a very soft wood.  All pop and just a little sting.  But let me tell you, Dragon can make that paddle talk.  My bottom got the message hard and fast.  He put his weight across my back, a signal to me that it is going to be a hard one and gave me a few memory swats.  I didn't know it was possible to give memory swats with that paddle!  Now I know!  Lesson learned.

It wasn't a punishment but it serve to reconnect us.  I didn't get much done yesterday.  I felt off all day.  Dizzy and tired.  Almost sick but not quite.  Off?  I don't know.  It was a lazy day.  So lazy for me that I had the kids take the Christmas decorations down instead of doing it myself.  I need to repack them but I was happy to have some help this year.

It is funny how it works.  When I talk about DD with him, he is much more attentive.  He said the reason he doesn't punish more often is just that he is tired from long work days.  Well....  I reminded him about non spanking punishments that take little or no effort from him.  Now what did I do that for?  Honestly?  I like what the DD dynamic does for our relationship.  I like what it does for both of us.  I don't like being spanked or punished in any way but it brings us closer.

Today is a work day for him but we still made love this morning.  Unusual but nice.  I think I want to do this again!  Just before he got me out of bed, the paddle came out again.  Not as hard as yesterday but just enough to let me know he cares.    Funny how that works, isn't it?

Update on my leg.  The bruising is just a faint outline now with a hard knot still in the center.  It doesn't bother me at all anymore.  I am doing my step aerobics two times a day and walking to the mail box several times a day, just to walk and get out of the house.  Dragon says that my hips are getting slimmer and my butt is getting a very nice shape to it.  :)  I think I'll keep doing what I am doing.

Obsession

I loved that my fitness pal thing.  Loved it.  I could track my activity level and food too.  I didn't even have to do the math to track those nasty calories   Just one problem.  I am anna.  "Recovered" but still anna.  It never really goes away.

I obsessed.

Majorly

Every bite of food.  Every sip of water.  Every minute spent moving.

What does that add up to?  One unhealthy me.

No scales in the house and now that fitness thingy is gone too.

I had to take a break from exercise when I hurt my leg.  Now that it is starting to look better and feel better, I can get back to it.  No obsession.  Just simple exercise to stay healthy.

I eat about every two hours.  Not a full meal but I try to make those calories count.  Fruit, vegetables and whole grains.

I would like for my weight to be 130-140.  It will take time to get there the healthy way.  Oh I could do it on just a few months but not the right way.  My leg was a set back but it won't stop me from trying to live healthier.

Day one   15 minutes of step aerobics   No idea what my weight is.  It doesn't matter.
Day two  Today! ! !  15 minutes of step aerobics again.  Consistent!

A friend of ours is going to give us a tread mill!  Yippee!  I walked our old one to death.  I killed it.  That will give me another option!  Happy me.  My goal right now?  My new jeans are a size 12.  Down from a 14 this summer.  So my new goal is to be in a size 10 by spring.  I can do it!  When a size 10 fits, then I'll try to get a new weight to see what kind of progress I am making with BMI.  The gold standard of health right now according to my doctor.

White Christmas

Even way down south, we had a white Christmas.

Dragon left for work at his usual time on the 24th prepared for a busy day.  What we didn't expect was an insane day.  He got home at 2 am Christmas morning.  An 18 hour work day.  We usually open presents and have a special dinner Christmas Eve but not this year.  I made chicken and dumplings and snuggled with the kids on the couch.

I warned the kids that the pickin's would be slim this year.  ONE present only.  They were prepared.  And they were all happy with what they got.   I used a gift card to get a small fish tank but ran out of money for fish.  My son offered to use his birthday money to get a few fish.  That was so sweet.  Two of the kids asked for fish but I couldn't figure out which one to give the thank to, so I got it for myself.  I'll end up taking care of the tank anyway.

No Christmas spanking for me this year.  My leg still looks awful.  The bruise looks like an thunderstorm cloud.  sickly yellowish brown with a long, narrow, hard lump in the center.  It isn't sore anymore but is a long way from being completely healed.   Dragon struggle too much during the holidays anyway to to stay on top of DD.  We help each other during this time of the year with gentile reminders.    A touch, a look and a frequent hugs to help keep us balanced.

We will leave our decoration up until the first.  New Years day the house will return to normal.

The Christmas Jar

Every year I read Christmas stories to our family.  Last year, one of the books I read was called "Christmas Jars"  It is about a family that collects spare change  all year long in a jar.  On Christmas day they give the jar to someone who looks like they need a blessing.  

This year we made our own Christmas jar and delivered it yesterday.  I sat the jar on the front porch and rang the door bell.  It is my hope that they found a blessing in that jar of change.  It wasn't much this year.  Hopefully next year we can use a bigger jar and hide a bigger blessing in the center of the jar.  

I just got some sad news.  A little girl we knew passed away.  She was about 15 years old and full of promise as all young people are.  She was in a car accident and lived for only 6 days.  My prayers this year are for her family.  Now I have to tell my kids on Christmas Eve.  I don't want to do it but I think they need to hear it.  It wouldn't be right to hide it from them.  

We will make our cookies and candies.  Latter, I will fix our evening meal and celebrate the birth of a little baby.  

The gifts are wrapped and under the tree.  Fewer than I have ever seen but we have much to be thankful for.  

What do you think?

I got this in reply to my last post.

Hi Dragon's Rose! I am an editor for an online magazine called Top Floor - www.topfloormagonline.com - and would love to do an email interview with you about your blog and your lifestyle particularly from the standpoint of you being Christian and a conservative. I think there's a lot of assumptions out there that only politically liberal or far-left people enjoy D/s activities. It would be for the April issue. If interested, contact me at hwestebooks@yahoo.com , I'm also on Twitter. Thanks again, hope to hear from you when you have a moment. I know things are hectic this time of year! Merry Christmas to you and your family! All the best, Honey West :) on Christmas is Saved

I will talk this over with Dragon before any decision is made.  There is no way I would do something like this without his consent.  It is his life too after all!

But still.  I value your opinion.

What do you think?

The Grinch

Dragon was all Humbug about Christmas.  Rude people, bad traffic and too many shoppers.  Too much work for him.  He didn't complain about the over time, just people.  So I called him The Grinch.

I didn't realize what was wrong.  It was that old PTSD thing biting him in the backside again.  On Christmas day, a few years ago, he was in Afghanistan.  When I spoke to him on the phone I heard soft, muffled booms.  That was the incoming stuff that really didn't hit anything.  The louder booms were the more efficient out going bombs that did what they were intended to do.   

There were no lives lost on the FOB where Dragon was but several people died at a FOB near by.  Every year he hurts for those soldiers that went home in a box.  When Dragon was scheduled to return home several days latter, his plane was no longer available.  That plane was taking someone else home.  Dragon didn't complain.  He stepped aside quietly and waited two weeks for the next plane and for the snow to quit.  No landing a plane in a blizzard.  

Last night we were out driving around, looking for the prettiest lights in town.  Dragon got very quiet and distant.  Flying in the distance, he saw 3 planes flying in formation.  A trigger.

It breaks my heart that he can't even enjoy the simple things in life without remembering the worst.    I hate this.

Good news though.  When I called him The Grinch, he realized what was happening and turned it all over to God in prayer.  He is doing better, not perfect but better.

He wrote the name of a local Catholic church down and two contact numbers.  We may finally be moving forward with finding a few church.

Maybe.

Christmas is Saved

My mom was able to send a little and my father in law gave us enough cash to get to payday.  The paycheck will be enough to so shopping for the kiddies.  All this over time Dragon is getting does have some advantages!

They won't have a big Christmas but it will be enough.  3 gifts each from Santa plus a few presents under the tree.  I am glad that they expect socks and underwear.  That is what they will get to unwrap on the 24th.