We have a house!

Yippee! ! !

Now we need to figure out how to get our stuff.  I have to make a few phone calls today.  The email I have doesn't work and my cell phone is dead.

Now about the house.  It is a cute little country cottage.   Little is the key word there but we will fit.    Space is premium.  It has a large yard, dog pen and a detached garage.  Only one bathroom though.  I may have to put a porta-potty in the laundry room for emergencies.     I am looking forward to moving in.

Privacy!  The house may not provide much but the garage will.  WEG.

The rent was more than what we wanted to pay.  I just hope we can make it.  Houses in the city run $100-200 but with 3 asthmatics in the house, I thought that was a very bad idea.  The smog is bad, even without inversion conditions we had in the mountains.

I am worried about money but relieved too.  Please keep the prayers coming as we adjust to civilian life.  Dragons PTSD is bad right now.  Military life may be behind us but the scars of war will never go away.

Safe words

I have been asked how safe words work with Domestic Discipline.  It is obvious how they work with play.  To me it is just as obvious how they work with DD.

Green does not always mean all is right with my little world when used for DD.  It simply means that I am ok and the session can continue.  My heart may be breaking and my tears may be soaking his shirt but I can continue.

Yellow means something needs to be adjusted.  Punishment should be painful but that doesn't mean it has to cut off my breathing or that my hair trapped under his leg is ok.  That hurts and isn't part of the punishment.  Yellow lets us readjust positions, get a drink of water and continue.

Red!  Now that is the big one.  That word stops a punishment cold.  If I feel he is too angry or I am.  If I feel that he isn't listening to my side of the story.  If I think the punishment isn't justified.  All of these are valid reasons to call red.  My hearing is better.  The phone may be ringing or there may be someone at the door.  So many reasons to call red.

Wouldn't no work just as good?  Or just saying "wait a minute"  Yep, it sure would but would it get his attention as fast?  Safe words are ingrained in our minds.  They have more meaning than no or wait.  They are specific in meaning and intent.   I can scream no and stop all I want during a punishment but it won't do any good.  It makes me feel better but I know he really won't stop.  He will finish what he started and continue until I submit.

So what happens when I call Red during a punishment?  It isn't over and done with.  Red is not a get out of jail free card.  He lets me up and we talk.  We may go about our day like nothing special happened.  But we are both still thinking.  What went wrong?  Was the spanking fair?  Was it deserved?  Who was wrong?  Latter in the day, we sit down together and talk.

I will admit, I am usually wrong.  Something about being a spoiled rotten brat and wanting my way.  Foot stomping, door slamming, filthy mouthed and spoiled.  That is me.  I can't always admit it when he wants me to.  It takes time for me to see the damage I have done with my stubborn ways.  I have to see the wedge I have created between us.  I can't do that when I am angry.

After the talk, then comes the lecture all over again.  By this time my tears are falling.  Given time to process what happened, I begin to feel guilty. The spanking doesn't cause the tears nor does the lecture.   After I have gained some self control, I go back over his lap to finish the punishment.  It isn't any harder because of the delay.  Dragon only spanks me until he feels my body submit.  That usually doesn't take long after a good cry.

Red has not negative consequences as long as it isn't misused.  The only reason a spanking would be any worse is if I did something else during that down time to deserve it.  Lets say I got off of Dragons lap after redding out and called him a f--ing a$$blaster.  Yes, that would earn more swats.  He would probably put me back otk and take care of that right then and there.  The punishment I redded out of would still be waiting.

That is how it works for us.  I couldn't live this lifestyle without the safety net of safe words.  They are there for both of us.

Shaving and submitting

I am not sure how the topic ever came up.  I shaved for the first time before I ever knew about the internet.  No idea where we got the idea.  I was curious and wanted to please my new husband.  Yes, it has been a few years.

First, I just shaved the lips.  I loved how it felt.  So smooth and sensitive to his touch.  After a while I decided to try to go completely bare.  Didn't like that at all. Not the first time, anyway.

Over the years, I would shave for a while and then let it grow back.  I couldn't make up my mind.  Was it DD that made me change my mind? It was after our very first chat about DD but before we embraced the life style.  I mentioned shaving again and he said he really like me bare down there.  And so it began.

For the last 6 years, I have kept it up.  Sometimes I go as long as a week without shaving but it drives me nuts to go much longer.  I don't feel clean if my skin isn't baby smooth.  I still feel shy in front of him.  Knowing that I am completely exposed but at the same time, it makes me feel very submissive. I like that.

One thing I do miss is the sensitivity of freshly shaved skin.  I am working on that.  I have decided to let the hair grow for a while.  That is the only way I know to get that sensation back.  It is at about a quarter inch and is already driving me nuts.  Itchy, uncomfortable and miserable.  I think it will be worth it in the end though.

Do you shave your pubic area?
Why?  Good grooming or to please your partner?

I started shaving for him.  Now I shave for me.

Long Drive and lots of discussion

Dragon finally had 2 days off in a row.  We drove down to my mom's house and picked up the kids.  They were all ready to come back home.  We may not have a house yet but we are still a Family!  On they way down there it was just us.  10 hours in the truck to talk.

An oh boy did we talk.  We talked about sex, kink, play and on a more serious note, DD.  I asked him why role play had gone away.  It pushes my limits and hard.  I will admit that.  Dragon was afraid it pushed me too hard but I miss it.  We talked about where to make our new beginning with this kind of play.  I think with panties.  He picks out my panties and says when they can be worn.  A good place to start that we hope won't push too hard.  

We talked about kneeling.  I have wanted this to be a part of both sides of TTWD for a while.  Kink and punishment.  Now I know why it isn't.  He is afraid of hurting my hip.  I reminded him that i have safe words I can use at any time, for any reason.  I won't put myself in a position that will hurt me.  And I will red out long before I am hurting.  I think he is going to give it a try.  Kneeling on pillows for my comfort.  

He says, but it feels silly.  I reminded him kink did too at first.  And our first few discipline session felt down right foolish to both of us.  I asked him to give it time and try it.  Not just once but several times.  Let's see if this is something that could work for us.  He reluctantly agreed.  

It is probably one of those "humoring the silly wife" things but that is ok.  DD started that way and now he doesn't think it is silly at all.  

Hopefully we will find a house this week.  We are talking to a broker who deals with rentals in a area we would really like to live.  Keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer.  It will be nice to have our own space again.  Privacy to play!  My sewing room so I can make some cute panties!  and back to our routine!  Please pray.  I am tired of being in limbo.  

Spanking Fiction

I love to read.  I read books of all kinds.  Sci-Fi, murder history, horror and romance.  Kinky, Christian, Amish and yes, even spanking fiction.  Not all of the books I read are good or even very readable.  Some are full of typing errors, poor grammar and not well developed.

So, what about spanking fiction.  One book read more like a teenagers text history.  It was full of LOL and LMAO.  What?  In a how to book for spanking?  I was just happy I didn't actually spend money on it.  Most stories start out really good.  Decent character development and plot.  But most go down hill from there.  Most spanking stories are too short and too focused on the main event.  The spanking.  I want to know what happens to the characters.  Where they go in life and what happens to them.

I want more from my books.  So far 50 Shades is the best of the bunch I have read.  With 2 spanking scenes and some negotiation, I didn't have much to offer.  I think that says more about the other books I have read than it does Shades.

If I am reading a short story I expect short and to the point.  If I am reading a novel, I expect more.  Do you have a favorite spanking book?  Does it have more to offer than a few hot spanking scenes?

Owie My bottom hurts

We made a donuts run and ran to wallyworld for a few things.  Dragon fixed the Ac in the camper for the cat  and tried to repair the wind damage to the tents from last nights storm.  When we came back inside, we realized that the house was empty and would be until well after 12.

I went back to the bedroom to read blogs and play on facebook.  Quiet time you know.

Dragon had other ideas.

He brought a chair into the bedroom and positioned it in an open area of the room.  The paddle appeared in his hand from some unknown hiding spot and he tapped his leg with the dark wooded plank.  I know what that means.

"Put down what you are doing and come here.  This one is going to be too hard to take on the bed."

For the really bad ones, I need to be over his lap.  In that position I can always feel his body.  His muscular legs supporting me.  His hand on my back or holding my hands out of the way.  It is comforting and beyond that I really can't say why.

I stood beside him until I heard, "drop your jeans and panties."  It only took a second to lower them just a few inches below the sit spot.  He tapped the paddle on his thigh.  It was time to take the spanking that had been promised all week.

With my chest supported on one leg and hips on the other, he began to talk.  He said those words he says every spanking.  Which words he uses tells me how bad it is going to bed.  Just the position he placed me in, told me it was going to be a bad one.

The warm up swats fell on tender skin.  My bottom hasn't completely healed from the last two spankings.  It is still colorful in places.  They weren't the gentile swats of a sexy spanking warm up.  Oh no.  These were serious swats to be start a session with.  My skin warmed.  I can only imagine how the pink slowly turned to red.  The tempo increases ass did the force.  My body tried to twist away from the paddle.  His arm tightened across my back.  It was a struggle to say quiet.

Wait a minute.  Why was I trying to stay quiet?  No one else is here!  But still I fought it.  The longer he spanked, the more tender my backside felt.  Every swat was miserable but necessary.  Finally Dragon let me know that it was almost over.

"3 memory swats and we are done."  He always saves the worst for last.

5 more medium swats and then the hard ones hit home.  One on the right cheek.  My back arches. My hands and feel come off the floor.  That was the tender spot.  One across both cheeks.  Yep, that tender spot again.  And the last one on the left cheek.

I stood in front of him with my panties and jeans pushed down.   My secret places were just visible between my shirt tail and lowered panties.  He reached out and caressed me.  Somehow it was comforting after a hard spanking. Too much needed to be done still.  There aren't enough hours in a day and sadly our time was over.

I have a very sore bottom to help me remember those memory swats.  I hated getting them but I love how it makes me feel.  Loved!



Ps.  Dragon was thanked.  Several times for seeing to my needs before his.  Although he did say that he enjoyed the view.  I asked permission to rub lotion into my throbbing backside.  I am sorry to say that it didn't help at all.

Daddy always said

"This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you."

Have you heard that from your parents?  How about from your HOH?

Sometimes I wish Dragon would put the paddle behind his words.  But most of the time I am happy he doesn't.  Only for those things that really get under his skin does he blister my bottom.  He makes sure it is fair, that the punishment is truly deserved.  If there is any doubt in his mind, it doesn't happen.

I don't always agree with his reasoning.  If I disagree it is much harder for me to take the paddle.  Submissive thoughts are not going to happen and anger invades.  Yes, that is why the multi session punishments were discussed.  Neither one of us want that to happen again.  It was easier for him to administer but took almost all day for us to reconnect.

Then there are the punishments that I know I deserve and willing submit to.  I am nearly in tears before the spanking ever starts.  He goes light on the lecture because my heart is already broken.  It doesn't take much of a spanking for me to reach the acceptance stage he is looking for.  These are harder for him.  I don't cry before or during the spanking but after it is over, I am in his arms and my tears are falling.  He hates to think that he made me cry.

But you see?  That part about "in his arms"?  That is the reconnect.  The forgiveness and the release of the guilt.  Those are the punishments that lead to lovemaking and picnics in the park.  They are hard for him to give and make me an emotional mess.  But it is still a better way.  Because after it is over, it is really over.

But is it?  Does Dragon hold on to the guilt of causing those tears?  Is that why he punishes so very little?  Is that why he lets me get away with so much?  He knows I hate punishments and so does he.  They aren't supposed to be fun or easy.  Easy leads to abuse. Something we want to avoid for sure!

I wonder.

Are you an HOH?  Do you hold on to guilt after a particularly hard punishment?  Does it both you when you bring tears to your wife's eyes?

Wives, Does it bother your HOH?

I know I don't want that feeling to completely go away.  That would be very bad but maybe I can help make it better.

Maybe?