Sunday, March 20, 2011

A High Maintenance Bride?

A High Maintenance Bride? Who? Me? Never! but what do you call this lifestyle of ours? He has to take the time every week to help me deal with the stress of being a stay at home mom. Sometimes he enjoys the task at hand. When he is feeling good and I am too, we usually end up doing much more than just taking care of a bi-weekly chore. Who thought that an unpleasant chore for both of us would have so many positive side affects.

My backside is a direct link to many different emotions. After a stress relief, I feel very submissive toward my husband and at piece with the world. A punishment spanking is a different story. First nervousness when I realize what I just did. Then comes the fear when I realize the I have probably earned a good old fashioned punishment. Anger at him when he tells me he is going to follow threw. Panic when he tells me to drop them. Back to anger when the paddle falls. It takes a while for acceptance to hit and the sadness that I disappointed him. Finally, the last stage comes when the tears fall and I reconnect with my husband.

With all of those emotions vented, I am calmer and at piece with the world. I can face the day and take what life throws my way with the grace and dignity my husband expects from his southern lady. A punishment instantly ends most arguments. He reminds me that he is the Head of His wife and I will submit to him. The spanking, lecture and loving words mend the rift between us faster than ever.

My faith is growing stronger. Now why would this be connected to ttwd? I have no idea. My head is bowed in prayer more often. My mind turns to scripture during the day. When I correct my children, it is backed up with a Biblical principal. Who ever thought this would get me back into a church. I’m still not sure if my asthma will let us attend regularly. I have had a hard time breathing every time I walk into the building but I am trying.

We are getting further and further from the D/s lifestyle. Even as I become more submissive as he steps into the role of HOH, we are leaving that lifestyle behind. This is definitely a change for the better. I am happy to see that “alternative” lifestyle take a back seat in our relationship. It never was a good fit anyway. Now he is truly the leader in our house, not just a sad figure head that poses for cute pictures.

He is mine and I am his forever.  No more play pretend.  Real life ttwd is here to stay.

5 comments:

  1. Nice post. I totally agree with you. I have found myself getting closer and closer to God everyday. Church is probably not going to happen for us, but I believe you can have are relationship with God anywher and everywhere. He is everywhere. So if you can't go to church due to asthma, it's ok and does not mean you are not doing service to God.

    It takes a while to get in the groove of ttwd but I think it's worth it. I think most homes today end in divorce because there is not the balance that ttwd brings.

    Your feelings going through the whole 'going to get a spanking to getting a spanking to after the spanking' are so right on!!

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  2. I love your writing! You really explain it well. I agree, I think I have become more self-reflective, and have grown in my spiritual life because I have to look at my own sin more honestly.

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  3. Cedeno, TTWD is worth it. It takes a lot of work to make a marriage work. I think most people today don't understand that. They want life to be easy.

    Stormy, I think it hard not to be honest when my bare backside is sticking up, with a frustrated husband pounding the truth into my brain. It is hard to look at ourselves honestly. Who really wants to? ttwd forces the issue.

    And thank you for bringing humor into it. Your blog makes me smile almost every time I read it.
    Missie

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  4. Fascinating how this is leading you to feel more religious. Perhaps that's how God intended life to be. The more we practice submitting to His will, the more we feel closer to Him.

    Thanks!

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  5. Strong Man, I think it is more about relationship than religion. Christianity is a way of life, not a religion to be practiced Sunday morning. Thank you for stopping by.

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