What a Crazy Life

Dragon in school, kids sports, music, school work.  All the things that make life hectic and rewarding and just plain worth living.

But my head is spinning.  Going a million different directions.  I love it and I hate it.

Then I realize it is all about to change

I honestly only have one school aged kid.  Yep.  Just one.

The girls are all 18 and older.

One last year of high school sports for my 18 yo.  One last season of music lessons.

They are growing up so fast.

What is next?

I have to let them go but I feel so lost.  I guess this is what growing pain feels like.  I'll figure it out.  

The Media

Once upon a time Dragon was a professional firefighter.  In his off time he volunteered at our little hometown department.  One day the fire he responded to was just a few houses down from our home.  That is the day that I learned not to listen to the media.

I was an eye witness to the spread of the flames but not how it started.  I told the reporter what the home owner said to me.  She left shortly after speaking with me.

Listening to the evening news was more like a game of telephone in elementary school.  The final news report was what the final kid in line whispered back to the teacher.  It didn't even resemble what the reporter witnessed or heard.  It was so far from reality that I thought she was talking about another home fire.

Now I'm listening to fantasies about the awesome power of a simple AR with a bump stock.  Huge exaggerations and pure fiction. I hear what the mainstream media is saying but then eye witnesses are telling other sources what they saw.

Ring ring

Be careful what you believe.

We don't have a gun problem.  We have a hate problem.  We have a media problem feeding the hate for ratings.  Hate and rage makes for huge profits.  Don't be fooled.

Confessions

Shame is a huge reason for the pause.  Dragon's busy schedule is part of it but not even the biggest issue.

In a word?  Incontinence.

Actually it is all that comes with it.

Silly I know.

I'm not shy about the Impressa devices.  That is just a little string visible. Not a big deal.  What makes me push Dragon away are the pads.  Impressa comes with a time limit.  8 hours.  12 hours at the absolute most.  With the devices I use a pad about the size of a panty liner.  Just a little bigger but not by much.  When I have to go without the devices is another story.  For me to feel confident that my clothes will stay clean I use a much larger pad.

90% of the time the smaller ones would be enough but occasionally it isn't.  That's why I started using protection to begin with.  I had an accident away from home and had no way to change clothes.

I'm fine with Dragon seeing the little string and the thin liner but the heavier pads make me duck my head in shame.  He knows that I use them.  Heck, he buys them for me most of the time.

I just can't do it.  Until today I haven't told him. But I finally confessed.  "What can I do to help" was his response.  That has been his attitude with all of this.  Helpful, kind and gentle as always.

He doesn't deserve my rejection.  I just don't know how to get past this.

I'm sure he will come up with something.  Love my man just a little.

TTWD Paused

Dragon has decided to go back to school.  With our already busy schedule that doesn't leave much time for us.  We went out last night to celebrate our anniversary.  It was nice.  Time for just us but right now that is rare.

That's okay.  The kids are growing up fast and they will be off living their own lives soon.  I can do hectic for now.

No fun kinky play.  Discipline has been reduced to stern looks.

I am looking forward to the Christmas holidays.  Dragon will be working but he won't have school. Something to look forward to.
 

In The News

More NFL players are taking a knee.  Why?  I honestly don't think most of them understand why they are doing it.  Team solidarity for one.

I think they need to pay attention to their fans.  You know.  The people who buy expensive tickets and over priced merchandise.  I honestly don't care what Trump has to say about it but apparently some people are having a complete melt down over it.
Just take a look at You Tube and you will see what real people think about it.  The news only tells the story they want you to hear.

And then you have one lone player that stands while his team hides in the locker room.

I think the fans have spoken.  We enjoy our freedoms that are protected by the Bill of Rights.  The football stars can kneel and the fans can stay home.

What do you think?

Self Defense Class

If you have never had a self-defense class, take one!  I took my first ever class today and I want more!  It was fun and I learned more than I expected.  Punching, kicking, twisting.  Give him more than he asked for.  Be generous in the a$$ kicking deployment.  Don't stop until you get away.  The only rule is to keep moving.

Not much of an update, I know but it is what I have.  Hope you had a great weekend!

Memories

I got a call this week that left me a little stunned.  My ex husband passed away.  They are calling it natural causes but I suspect the meth was a major factor.

His family asked my daughter what songs she would like for the funeral.  There is a problem.  All the normal daddy songs won't work.  Daddy's Hands, Dancing with Cinderella, Butterfly Kisses. Those songs talk about relationship and love.  She never had either one with him.

He never could just be content.  He had to be the center of attention at a party.  Add in weed, meth and Natural light and the party was on.  I know for a fact that he would love Margaritas ville and Red Solo Cup.

We finally settled on this one.

 

What do you think?  Any more ideas?  This is hard.

Highway to Hell was on my short list but I don't think his family would approve.

Inappropriate suggestions welcome.  I am relieved he is gone.  I don't have to hide anyone.  I can visit my family and not be afraid.