Life is a Rose

A bullion rose to be specific.

I love to sew. Sewing has kept me sane all these years I have been a stay at home mom. When I gave up a career and college, I turned to my “new” sewing machine. I made crib bedding, cute baby dresses, maternity clothes, doll dress, dog coats and many other projects. I have therapy sessions with my needle and thread.

Over the years, I have become a stickler for quality. My first dresses looked “home made.” Now if something isn’t of the highest quality, it doesn’t come out of my sewing room. I have a huge dish barrel box full of projects that were not up to my standard. A dress that didn’t hang right, strips or plaids that didn’t match. Something wasn’t quiet right. But I would put aside the failed project and try again.

I have learned so many new things. Lace shaping, smocking, embroidery stitches. I have learned how to look for fine fabrics and had the opportunity to work with some wonderful silk organza. I have a list of new things I want to learn. Pattern drafting, ribbon embroidery and tambour beading. Always more to learn.

One embroidery stitch has always eluded my grasp. Bullion knots. I have tried to learn them many times and always failed. My knots looked like a tangled mess and never a beautiful rose. … Until today. I finally got it right. After years of trying and failing, persistence paid off. I learned how make those stubborn stitches. They aren’t as neat as I would like them yet but I can make them now. That is a huge accomplishment for me.

Life is like that too. There are things in life that seem so out of reach. A goal that is unobtainable. Yet, with tenacity, patience, hard work and persistence, anything is possible. Owning your own home. A stable relationship. That prized job.

Life for me is a tiny embroidered rose. Hard to master but worth every minute of my time.

So Small

The hardships of others sometimes makes your daily frustrations seem so small.

That is where I am today........ So Small

A little boy, 3 years old is fighting for his life. He has neuroblastoma. I read about his struggle and his mothers heart break almost every day. I pray for them every day. Some days she doesn’t post an update. When she misses a day or two, I pray even harder.

His story makes my problems seem So small.

Say a prayer today for all the children fighting this awful cancer and for this young mother. My heart breaks for them.
　
　

Dragon's Way

Dragon does things his own way. He is strong willed, hard headed and loves me with all of his heart. What more could a girl want? I am his china doll, his rose and his princess. He spoils me rotten, hold me close at nigh and shows mercy when I don’t deserve it.

　
The loving dd book and the cdd web page encourage spanking to tears. Dragon says “no thank you. You don’t need to cry every time.” He wants submission and obedience. That comes before the first swat connects with my backside. It comes when I submit to his authority and to a punishment that I know will not be pleasant. Sometimes tears come after all is said and done. Sometimes the tears don’t fall at all. Tears are not his goal. He doesn’t want to beat me into submission. I submit to him because I love him and trust him will my heart.
　
The Learning DD blog gives step by step instructions for spanking. How hard, position, how many swats. Boy am I ever happy my Dragon can think for himself. Nine swats and my last punishment was over. Sometimes I need fewer swats and there are times when I need more. He listens to my squeaks. He pays attention to the tension in my body. Positioned across his lap, with his hand on back, he feels my body tense and relax. He feels in my body the very moment I have had enough. There is no need to go one step further. No need to continue the spanking until I am in hysterics. I am thankful that he stops when he does.
　
Every page I have read says, NO RUBBING. Yet after every few swats, he rubs my flaming skin. After the last swat, before he lets me up, he rubs away the pain. He sooths the sting. I treasure those moments. His touch shows that I am forgiven. His touch shows me that all is right in my little world. When he repositions me in his lap and holds me close, I know I am loved.
　
Dragon doesn’t do “corner time” or time out. He takes me into his arms and whispers words of love into my ear. He sends the kids to their room to let me collect my thoughts and calm down. He harnesses my service dog and fills my camel pack for a long walk. Dragon understands that sometimes I need a hug and sometimes I need a little time alone. On really hard days he gets out my motorcycle leather and the helmet. He moves the bike to the driveway and gets it running for me. I get to take a long solitary ride. Just me, the bike and the open road. I head away from civilization, up into the mountains and across the desert. I love his idea of Mommy time. No standing naked in the corner for me.
　
Yep. I am one lucky girl and I know it. I am thankful that my husband is the man that he is. I am thankful that he is mine. This last year has been a learning experience. I have learned that labels are man made and that most people don’t really fit any of them. We are all individuals with different relationship dynamics. So much the same and yet very different too. Is my relationship with Dragon D/s, DD, CDD, LDD or Tih? Or are we simply a man and woman absolutely in love finding our way in a world turned upside down?
　

It is hard to believe that this time last year we were just starting to talk about making some changed in our lives. Talking about what these changed would look like in our relationship and deciding to move foreword with it. Yes, I am the one who brought up the topic but it turns out he was already half a step ahead of me. He had already started moving our relationship in that direction. So now what do we call it? I think it is simply “This Thing We Do” Or as Bman and Sugarann say it "Tweed"

Is DD a Christian Thing?

Another topic covered in the anti DD article
　
For me that is an easy question to answer. Yes and No
　
Submitting to my husband is Biblical.
　

The roles of a husband and wife are right there in the Bible, printed in black and white. I can’t tell you how other relationships work but I can tell you about mine. When we follow the Biblical model, marriage words like it should. He is the HOH and I submit to his authority. He is not a tyrant. When he makes a decision, he considers all aspects first. What is best for our family is most important. He looks at what he wants and as well as what I want. It isn’t a one sided, legalistic “my way or the highway” deal. We discuss all sides of an issue and then a decision is made. My wants, needs and opinions matter to him. No, I don’t always get my way.

　
Domestic Discipline is not Biblical.
　
We consider ourselves to be New Testament Christians. We study the teaching of Jesus and his disciples. It is our guide to life. I have not found one verse that specifically tells a husband to spank his wife. Parents should spank children. And owners should whip slaves. No mention of husbands spanking wives. The Bible says what it says. To add to it is wrong. Adding rules that aren‘t there is what the Pharisee did. And we know that is wrong. Is DD “Christian”? yes and no I don’t think it is unchristian or sinful. It simply is not Biblical
　

Ok. What do we have now? It isn’t Biblical but isn’t unchristian either. A husband spanking his wife simply isn’t mentioned. Where do we go from here? I would say back into history and tradition. The thought of a husband as HOH and spanking his wife was not always though of as a bad thing. It was common place 100 years ago. 50 years ago it was not unheard of. I know for a fact that my father-in-law has spanked his wife once or twice. I wonder what he would think if he knew his son spanks me??? I can almost see is mustache twitching with silent laughter and approval.

I have a tight deadline with a sewing project. It should have been done weeks ago. I’ll work on a researching spanking, traditional roles and the feminist movement in history latter. When I’m not working against the clock. Time to turn on a movie and make my needles fly.

Dusting off the Door Mat

It is quiet on the home front. With wild land fire season in full swing, my asthma is flaring. He doesn‘t want to make it any worse. The impact of the paddle makes it so much harder to breath. Stress relief is put on hold until the smoke clears from the valley.
　
He is doing his very best to help me avoid punishment too. I don’t think he would withhold a well deserved spanking but he isn‘t nit picking. He lets me rest when I need to and judges how I feel by how my service dog is acting. If the dog won’t leave my side, he knows something is wrong. If the dog is snoozing on his bed, he knows I’m ok. Funny how that works.
　
The kids have started slipping with schoolwork and chores. I waited until Dragon got home from work to read the kids the riot act. I wanted them to know we were on the same page. When I started getting close to messing up, he sent the kids out of the room for a few minutes. He held me until the tears began to slow and called the kids back in. They are grounded and know that if they don’t get their school work done at home, they will all be in school. If they are going to fail, it can do it at school and not take up my time. They discovered what I have given up to stay home with them. A degree in chemical engineering and a career that pays a lot more than staying home with the kids. It is a dream that is gone. I gave it up years ago.
　
Dragon isn’t out to punish me. He isn’t waiting for me to slip. Sexy, erotic spankings he loves and will use every opportunity to redden my bare backside. But punishment is a different story. I discovered that last night. As he held and comforted me. While my tears fell, I melted in his arms. He reassured me that I wasn’t wrong. No rules had been broken. He wanted me to calm down before I crossed that line. He wanted to let me know that he understands and he is on my side. We have both made sacrifices for our children. They didn’t know it before but they do now.
　
I have dusted the foot prints off my back. I am sure it is a temporary state. I said I would never be a door mat but somehow, I have let the kids treat me like one. I have my little broom in hand to dust away any new foot prints as soon as they try. Let’s see how long it lasts this time.

How far is too far?

My opinion on the topic.

This is a question asked in an ainti-dd article I read (link provided in the helpful links section on the right), The author is troubled that there isn’t any information out there on the topic. He is right! ! ! I haven’t even thought about it. A non-issue in my relationship with Dragon.
　
There is a line in the sand that Dragon refuses to cross. It is the line between rational thought and absolute panic. From the moment a rule is broken, he watches my body language. A punishment is going to hurt and humiliate. That is why it is effective. A little fear is a good thing. Panic is a bad thing. As he spanks me, he listens to my cries and squeaks. He feels my body tense and relax under his hand. Never pushing too far. My eyes show just what is going on in my head. Panic? Submission? Defiance? Dragon knows because my eyes tell him. If he sees even a flicker of panic, everything stops. I am in the comfort of his arms, hearing words of comfort and love.
　

In an effort to stay within my limits and his own, a few punishments were less than adequate. In the very beginning of a DD relationship, I think that is a very good thing. It is better to stop before the point has been made than to risk doing permanent damage. Emotional damage that is. So what if you leave a mark on her backside. Emotional scars run deeper than any bruise I have ever had and take longer to heal.

　

How far is too far? Dragging your wife kicking and screaming to the bed room, holding her down and making her submit? Absolutely! Spanking to tears every spanking? Maybe. How many swats are excessive? Over 100 swats is definitely excessive when 10-15 are adequate. Hitting in anger is always a bad idea. Hitting anywhere other than the backside for a punishment. Punching and slapping is abusive. Don’t do it.

　
Anything done against her will, goes too far. Rules she doesn’t agree with. Punishing even after she has refused. If she is refusing, don’t force the issue. Step back and revaluate. What is going on? TALK about it. If DD is having a negative effect, TALK. Does she feel like she can’t do anything right? It may be time to reevaluate some of those rules or use a little mercy.
　
There it is. I’m sure I have left some things out but I tried. In the end, you have to decide for yourself. Is it going too far? Is this right? Keep asking that question and talk. Keep it healthy.

a name change

Dragon changed the name of his blog several weeks ago. The name change on my blog reflects that change. And since Dragon is what I call him, I think it is better. Sorry for any confusion.  If you still call me missie, I'll understand.

　
I am still me. Out spoken at times and very opinionated. Is that an understatement or what? I call BS when I see it, smell it or suspect it is in the room. Ick.
　
You won’t read details about sex or see my bare backside. No way. I keep it clean. The topic hasn’t changed. This lifestyle is changing our lives a little at a time. This blog lets me go back and see those changes. and yes, I am patriotic and loyal to US veterans. My blog isn’t based on BDSM but since it is part our lives it will be part of my blog from time to time.
　
Yes, you can be kinky and Christian at the same time. Gasp!
　
Now to find a profile photo. A dragon? Roses? Hmmmm. I’ll have to see what I can find.
　
　
　
　
Time for more benadryl, albuterol and a nap. It is wildland fire season. OH joy. Breathing is something I DO NOT take for granted.