Helpful Links

I have recently edited my helpful links sections.  Out with the old. In with the new.
　
The helpful links section is to help people who come to my blog looking for information on DD. Safety, emotional aspects, loving relationships, consent, communication and negotiation. There is so much more to DD than just how to punish. It is about a loving relationship between two people made better.

I now have only two links listed. I am looking for more ideas. Books, bible studies and links. I am open to more ideas.

The Yahoo christian domestic discipline group is a good place to find information and get advice. After you join the group be sure to visit their files section. There is more helpful information there than I have found anywhere else. Be prepared for disagreements.  Not sure how to post a link for but it is there.  

Be cautious of paid web pages. As with anything take the information you find useful and send the rest to the recycle bin.  

Added today
　

Christian dd    It has not been updated in several years, a pain to navigate but does have useful info.

　
Also added was one of the many anti dd pages out there. I think we can all learn from what the page says. I know I will be including topics from the page in future blogs in an effort to address some of the issues mentioned.
　
I did not add fetlife to the list. It is primarily a fetish networking group but does have groups for Christian submissive wives, a taken-in-hand group and various bible study groups. It can get “interesting” at times

The Court of Appeals

Life isn’t always fair. That is universally accepted. We learn this very sad fact when we are toddlers. And our chosen life style in of Domestic Discipline is not and exception to that rule. Sometimes he messes up and I get punished. Life isn’t fair.
　
Pout….
　
When we first started on our DD journey we didn’t talk about an appeals process. It wasn‘t discussed. We didn’t need to talk about it. It was already established in our house hold. Anytime a decision is made in our family, anyone can appeal it. From the very youngest member to the oldest. There are a few rules that go along with it.
　
1. The words “may I appeal” must be used before the argument is made

2. A respectful tone of voice will be used

3. No whining.
　
This process has gotten me out of several well deserved punishments. Every incident that comes to mind, I had earned punishment. One severe and another very mild. I made my argument, he considered all the facts and he gave me the gift of mercy.
　

A house full of teenagers, a date night intended to be relaxing, verbal reminders before swats. Would it be fair to be spanked in a house full of teenagers that aren’t mine?

Ok then, lets wait until after we get back from our date…

Um. I won’t have fun if I know I’ll be punished when we get home.

Ok then. Don’t let it happen again.

　

That was it. Over and done with. No spanking, no guilt and an evening out to enjoy.

　
I have a husband that looks at all sides of the issue. I don’t always agree with his decision but I know he considers my side of the story before the paddle is used.
　

It is official

I’m Sunk

It is official. He is a spanko. No turning back.
　
From the horses mouth….
　
You were just so sexy over my lap. I couldn’t help it. Your @$$ bare and turning red. What is a man to do?
　
Yep. I’m sunk. Here I am upset about being punished and he is thinking about sex… sigh….
　

Confession time.....And the Consequences

I messed up today. BIG TIME! ! ! I lost my temper with the kids and said some things I shouldn’t have. C on an algebra test, D in English for one of the kids and she didn’t bother to take notes in either subject. Nothing written down. GRRRR. I warned her about that. Lectured over and over. Write it to learn it! ! But she doesn’t listen. Another kid is determined Not to learn how to do long division! ! ! We have been on this for over a month and she still needs me right there beside her telling her where to put the numbers. My son does half a page of math then decides he is done as soon as I get up from the table to do some laundry. This is simple stuff, I know he knows how to do it! Grrrrr.
　
This is one of those days.
　
Now when Dragon gets home, I have something very unpleasant to do. I have to confess. Anybody want to do it for me? Please?
　
I know. I could always smile and say everything is peachy sunshine…. Right?
　
Or I could do the right thing and face the consequences.
　
He may pull me into his arms and offer a few moments of comfort before he goes to take care of the issues with the kids.
　
Or
　
He may lecture me on the importance of self-control and make sure the lessons is learned. Burning backside, tears and a very humble wife.
　
Can I be thankful he can’t read my blog at work? I know the kids won’t tell daddy. They would get in trouble too.
　
Yes, I know. The second option is much more likely than the first.
　
On top of everything else, the mid week stress relief was a day late. Thursday instead of Wednesday. My backside is still a little sore.
　
Ok….
　
Breath….

I know what to do. I need the strength to do it. I am ashamed. I acted like a frustrated child. Now it is time to face the consequences.

Trade places with me????

Please???

　

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......And the consequences

He came home from work 2 hours early. I wasn’t ready. I felt sick at my stomach. Those butterflies were working overtime in my poor tummy. Nervously, I confessed. Starting from the beginning of the day, I told him what happened.
　
He agreed. I had been played. For weeks she has known how to do these problems but was playing me because she didn’t want to do them. First he dealt with the naughty child. He told her the consequences if her behavior continued. PUBLIC SCHOOL! She didn’t like that one bit. Public school means no hockey or figure skating. Nothing good can come from that. And he sent her back to the table to play catch up from all those days piddling.
　
The weed eater needed repair, The car needs to be timed. A room needs to be painted. Yep.

You are thinking right. He went about his afternoon like nothing happened but I knew he was thinking. The throb in his temple and that look on his face told me that this wasn’t over. Finally when I couldn’t stand it any longer, I had to ask.

I know I messed up. I know there are going to be consequences. It is all over your face. What are you going to do?

Well now that you mention it,…..you are absolutely right. I have been thinking about that for a little while now. Do you want you swats now or latter?

You sent her to the table to do her math. It can’t be now. We don’t have privacy.

Yes we do. Come on. Let’s go to the garage.

But but but.

NOW!

YIKES
　

In the garage there was no lecture. He pulled out a chair, dusted it off and called me to him. I just knew I was going to be sick.

Drop um.
　
Ummm No.
　
NOW! (I dropped my capris but not my panties) Those too.
　

I dropped them as little as possible. He tapped his lap and pulled me over his knee. The paddle fell 8 stinging times. No warm up. With every swat I squeaked and me feet came up. No staying silent for this one. He lightly brushed the skin. I could feel the heat rising. Seven more time the paddle fell. My backside was on fire. Tears didn’t fall but it was a close thing.

　
He helped me stand. Firmly held my arms and moved me until I was standing in front of him. Panties around my knees.
　
Now. Did the punishment fit the crime?

Quietly, I replied yes. He helped me re dress and held me in his lap until I began to calm down. He promised an evening of fun to make up for my hard day and continued on his day like nothing happened.
　
　
　
　
　

 

The Watchful Dragon

Nope. I don’t have a knight in shining armor. I have a watchful Dragon and I am his. He is watchful, diligent and protective. Nope. I wouldn’t trade him for anything.
　
Last night, before our weekly stress relief session, he made sure I was comfortable first. The house was hot and our bedroom was even hotter. I was miserable. He stepped into the bathroom and didn’t let me see what he was up to. He wet a bath towel, made sure a it wouldn’t drip and spread it across my back. Then he warmed my backside.
　
Every break he mercifully gave me, he folded the towel down to cool flaming backside. He rubbed the tender skin for about a minute and continued his torture. This spanking was light compared to some but I am still a little sore this morning. He petted and sweet talked. Hugged, kissed and cuddled. When I saw the whip tails peeking out from under my gym bad, he switched things up. The towel moved up to my neck and the whips fell across my back in an unforgettable rain of leather.
　
It went from stress relief to all pleasure in a matter of seconds. Some how he even made our lightest, softest flogger sting and bite. He kept checking in. Asking for my safe word. I gave him yellow once and a few times I didn’t answer. After about 5 minutes he decided that was enough. It wasn’t nearly hard enough to leave a mark. That would take 20 minutes or more.
　
He unfolded the towel. It stretched from neck to knees and felt like heaven. When he decided it was time to brush teeth and get ready for bed, he removed my nice cool towel.
　
Time to get a wiggle on. My kitchen helper is sick today. It is my self appointed chore to help her out. Laundry needs to be washed, the bed stripped, sheets washed and school work done. Ok…. That sounds like a lot. AND the camisole I made to go with my new pj bottoms is way WAY too big. Oops. One size up makes a huge difference. Back to the cutting board on that one. It will only take me about an hour to make a new, much smaller camisole.
　
Mt Never-Rest here I come. Where is that Dragon when I need him?

Trust

What is trust? What is love? What is it to be IN Love?

I’m no expert. It may seem that way to some but I’m not.
　
In the 17 years I have been with my dragon we have fallen in and out of love several times. Trust has been broken on both sides. Feeling have been hurt. We have both suffered heart break and heart ache. When others would have given up and divorced, we held on. In seemingly hopeless situations, we have persevered.
　
Determination, dedication and commitment.

This is why we are together and very much in love.
　
Determination to make it when times get hard. Our wedding vows we said all those years ago meant every to us. For better or for worse. No one told us how bad worse could get. No one told us how much love hurts. Yet every night we go to bed together. We sleep in the same bed, side by side. Rarely angry with each other. That is Determination.

Dedication. Life pulls us apart. His job, the kids, friends, hobbies. It only our dedication to making our marriage last, that keeps us together at times. It isn’t easy. Some times we get so close to saying, ENOUGH! But then we remember that word. Dedication. We are dedicated to our marriage. WE face the world TOGETHER! WE not me. Not you. WE are Wed. Forever. Till death do us part.
　
Commitment means that even when things get hard, we keep going. Falling asleep next to someone who has deeply hurt you is hard. Sharing that same bed night after night isn’t always easy. I think it one reason we are still together. Our refusal to let anger and hurt control our relationship.
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In those times we have fallen “out of love” we put the effort back into our relationship. We work hard to get back what we lost. Picnics, movie dates, rocking on the porch. How did we fall in love the first time? We remember and do it all over again.
　
I see people divorce after less than a year together. They practice what I call serial monogamy. Married time after time after time. There is no determination, only defeat. They are not dedicated to a life together. They are dedicated to their won selfish desires. I’m not even sure some of them realize that marriage is a lifetime commitment. They should understand what they are getting into but they don’t.
　
Marriage is the best decision I ever made. I go to sleep every night in the arms of my best friend. But…. It isn’t always easy. The road to ruin is a paved divided highway. The road to a lifetime relationship is narrow and treacherous. It is easy to fall in the valleys. It is easy to get lost. To stumble. It is inevitable. You will get hurt. However, if you are committed, you learn how to climb back up, you learn about forgiveness and unconditional love.

Tears

I didn’t think I could cry with a spanking. It wasn’t even a punishment. Simply a mid week maintenance. Yet, my tears fell.
　
It was late. The kids all sleeping, chores done, dogs fed and the house secured for the night. I had just finished a long, relaxing bubble bath. Dressed in a gown and panties, I crawled under the sheets. Sleepy and ready for bed. My Dragon had other ideas.
　
He walked around the bed to my side. Reaching down, he picked up the walnut paddle. It is the darkest in our collection. The wood is beautiful. He sat for a moment admiring the grain and color of his chosen tool. Then he said those awful words.
　
Roll over my love.
　
It started out like any other. Gentile taps, slowly warming up the skin. The intensity increased quickly. Faster than I expected. Soon I was squirming away from the paddle. He held me firmly in place. I protested but it didn’t matter. The paddle continued to fall.
　
I asked if I had done something wrong. I asked if he was mad at me. Never had a spanking hurt like this one.
　
Unbelievably the intensity increased yet again. Tears filled my eyes. It was so hard not to cry out when the paddle hit my backside.
　
Finally he stopped and rubbed the burning skin. He saw the tears collecting on my eyelashes and he was pleased. I didn’t completely let go of my pride. I wasn’t able to let go of that last shred of dignity but it was a close thing. It was the very first time tears stung my eyes during a spanking.
　
Tears were his goal. He said I needed to cry. That they were building up inside and needed to fall.
　
He was right. Why did he have to be right about that one?
　
I fell asleep in his arms with a burning backside and a tear stained pillow.