Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Feeling Submissive

　
After a punishment, do you feel more submissive? When you are obedient do you feel submissive? Does something you do just for him put you in a more obedient and submissive state of mind? Wearing a skirt or a bracelet? Doing a bible study he told you to do? Writing in your journal? Anything? Then you have felt what is called sub-space. It isn’t something dirty or make believe. It is a feeling of being loved and feeling secure. Of loving him so much that you would do anything for him.
　

After a spanking or weekly maintenance have you found that normal aches and pains don’t bother as much? Do you feel a little energized and like you are in your happy place? Do you attack your every day chores with renewed energy? Do things that normally irritate you not seem so important? I hate to tell you this. I really do. But you have experienced an endorphin rush. It is better than any antidepressant. More potent than any illegal drug and more effective than a prescription from your doctor. And it is healthier than hitting the bottle.

　
So who has it right? The BDSM crowd who says it is all fun and games? Or the DD/Tih/TTWD crowd who says it is all business? Personally I think I have the best of both worlds. A little bit of both. My world feels balanced. My husband knows how to make me fly with endorphins and how to put me in my place when I have disappointed him. I feel loved. I am loved.
　

Sub space, endorphin high and flying are all words used in the BDSM community. But they apply to DD/TTWD also. The words are not evil or dirty. They give you a way to describe with you are feeling. They explain what is happening to your body. Those things you feel? There is an explanation for it. It isn’t unique to DD. I wonder how many people get into the BDSM lifestyle looking for what I have found in DD? I wonder how many people get into DD looking for what the BDSM community has found? And how many people out there realize that their relationship is beyond labels?
　

I have tried on so many different labels that I feel sticky. None of them really fit who I am or what we do in our marriage. We are who we are. Unique together. It works.
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8 comments:

  1. senorrose4Tuesday, August 16, 2011

    I say to just enjoy it! Forget the analyzing and labeling!!

    Enjoying your blog,

    Bob.

    ReplyDelete
  2. sub and QueenTuesday, August 16, 2011

    Nice! I like my subspace and endorphin rushes :) and all the other "feelings" that go along with this "doing" of a relationship.

    We came into this through the BDSM community - but where we were, there were so many different flavors (SO MANY) that while the labels were there, there was also a decent understanding that everyone did their thing their own way and many didn’t fit any one label.

    We certainly don’t!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dragon's RoseTuesday, August 16, 2011

    Bob.

    I think I’ll do just that. : )

    Queen sub

    I discovered dd the same way I learned about kink. Corsets. I wanted to make one and had to search the internet to do it. Local fabric stores do not sell coutile, steel bones or busks. I never thought my interest in historical clothing would lead us in so many interesting directions. It has been a fun journey!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sir Lawrence's LadyWednesday, August 17, 2011

    I too feel submissive just by certain things that I do that I know please him or that he has made a rule for me to follow... I love the soft feminine feeling of submission to a wonderful strong loving man.

    I am very familiar with TiH, HoH and of course the DD, Ds and BDSM but the other one TTw...something or other... could you enlighten me on that one.

    Sir Lawrence's Lady

    PS... if you get a min...plz stop by my blog I'm just starting it up again and would love to have some comment or suggestions...tytyty

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dragon's RoseWednesday, August 17, 2011

    Welcome to blogging Sir Lawrence’s Lady! I’ll be happy to stop by.

    TTWD = This Thing We Do It is another way to say, “hey, my husband spanks my butt.” It is mother-in-law and kid appropriate. They won’t have any idea why you just said that.

    ReplyDelete
  6. SerenitySaturday, August 20, 2011

    I can't pick out the right label for us. None of them seem right.

    It seems to me that on the blogs that are longer term there seems to be a lot of overlap and progression from one to the other. They may start out just traditional marriage, but end up in a complete power exchange.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dragon's RoseSaturday, August 20, 2011

    Thank you for stopping by Serenity. That is just what I think. After a wile those lines begin to blur. We had a "tradition" relationship but it isn't vanlilla anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AliceSunday, August 21, 2011

    For a long time labels seemed so important. Where do we fit? I think they give a sense of belonging. But they can be detrimental too. Eventually, because what we do doesn't seem to fit exactly anywhere, we simply stuck with D/s because Chess is the dominant one in our relationship, and I am the submissive one. Now the label is so much less important. It's about enjoying what we have, growing in it, growing ourselves, growing in our relationship. It's beautiful :)

    ReplyDelete