Submission

I am sitting very uncomfortablely. The corsets are all too small and my body is no longer trained into then. It is loosely laced but I feel pressure on the floating ribs. That means that I can't lace any tighter tonight. ♥♥♥♥ That is okay. Training back into the corsets is an act of submission. Every day, by order of the Dragon, I am to spend some time laced up. Feeling the snug cage around my torso, squeezing, shaping and hugging. I can't tell you what it does to my head. Love my man just a little. ♥♥♥♥

Fantasy Lover

It isn't as good as the first book I read by the author. The plot isn't as well planned and the story line is weak. Over all it is a good story but doesn't hold my attention as long as the first book I read by her. Hmmmm. It has a super hot hero and a woman determined to save him. It is worth a read but a bit of a let down. ♥♥♥♥The word of the day comes from the book. loins Now that is a hot word but can you imagine using it in every day life? Hmmm. I think I will pass on the strange looks. But seeing it in print did get a giggle out of me.

On the Book Shelf

What is on my book shelf? Lots of books. I LOVE to read. It is my excape from reality. A mini vacation I can take any time, any where. ♥♥♥♥ The most recent author to make an appearance on my handy dandy kindle is Sherrilyn Kenyon. First I started with The Chronicles of Nick. My daughter brought it home from the library. I had nothing new to read so I picked it up. For a teenage zombie drama, it was pretty good. It was well written and had a stable plot. I couldn't have been more surprised. I looked the author up on Amazon and found a treasure trove of books by her. I am currently reading Fantasy Lover . This was definitely not written for a teenage boy. HOT! Oh my. It has even me panting. I think Dragon will have some work to do when he gets home. No battery powered toys for this itch. ♥♥♥♥♥ I am on the second chapter. I'll let you know how it turns out latter.

Again????

Monster in law visiting again!!!!! Won't that lady just go home? Good grief. This time she actually calledto try to set up a vvisit before going home. I am happy that she did but it just feels like too little too late. ♥♥♥♥ I had the kids all excited about going to a state park for a day but no. It is going to be too hot. It is August people. What did you really think the weather was going to be? ♥♥♥♥♥ Rant over. That woman just gets on my nerves. Time to put on my big girl panties and fill the flask. Irish whisky. Yummy.

Living with a Vet

When I read about other people having relationship issues, I think it is trivial. You will just have to forgive me for that. Living with a vet who has PTSD has changed my view a little. Things other people call hard times are the good ones for us. I guess it is all a matter of prospective. ♥♥♥♥ Four years ago Dragon was in the middle of a bad PTSD break. I wasn't sure our marriage would survive. It did but not without scars. One of them really does seem trivial with everything else that happened. ♥♥♥♥ Our oldest was about to have a birthday. One of those major mile stones. Sweet sixteen. I was busy planning a party for her. The first one in years with friends invited. Dragon said no. He didn't think that turning 16 was a big deal and we aren't even going to have cake. ♥♥♥♥ I stood there in shock. It was so out of character for him but then nothing in our lives could have been considered normal at the time. Things were really hard. So many people don't understand what it is like. I have fogiven him for almost everything that happened during that time. Not that he needed to be forgiven at all. But I have held on to this one thing all this time. ♥♥♥♥♥ I read something on one of the ptsd pages that really made me think. How bad was it? What did he see that was so horrible that made a birthday seem pointless? WOW! Where did that come from? I know he saw some awful things. He tells me little bits and pieces but never enough to see how bad it really was. I think part of it is an effort to protect me from there things he saw. And I know he doesn't like to remember it at all. ♥♥♥♥ Now that I see it from a different point of view, there is nothing left to forgive. Only my guilt at holding on to the anger for so long. What a difference a day can make. WOW! love my man just a little

Giving the cat a bath

There has to be an easier way ♥♥♥♥ It all started with a flea crawling across her nose. You see, I hate fleas. For nearly 20 years I didn't have to deal with them. Now I can't get rid of the things. I saw the nasty little thing and started the process of getting rid of it. ♥♥♥♥ The soap was mixed, and towel made ready and an area around the sink cleared. The problem is that the cat knows the process. She knows!!! In the two minutes between seeing the flea and getting the bath ready, she disappeared. This cat was no where to be found. I looked everywhere. ♥♥♥♥ Two hours later, I gave up. I put on my shoes and went for a walk. She was found lounging on my bed covered in dust. I have no idea where she was hidden but it was dusty. ♥♥♥♥ One daughter held the cat while another gathered the supplies. We hid them in hopes she would come out. The yowling began when she smelled the soap It sounded like we were trying to drown her. I held her head. Daughter #1 held her claws and daughter #2 applied the soap and scrubbed. ♥♥♥♥ The cat acted like we were killing her. Next time I am tempted to use the toilet method. Clean cat and clean toilet with just a few flushes. Geezzz

Panic and sub space

The house was quiet. The kids in bed, dogs crated and the cat curled up in her bed. Dragon took my hand and led me to the garage. I have a nice little area fixed up. I use the space for my daily workout and a retreat when the house gets to loud. Now it is a play space too! ♥♥♥♥ Dragon took my camisole and bra off. "are you ready to submit?" Yes I was. In no time at all, he had me deep into sub space. He finished up with the floggers and restrained my arms with stretch wrap. I was purring until he touched my neck. Then he did it again. I was deeply into sub space and unable to use safe words. He did it again and I absolutely panicked. Fear hit me in a way that it hasn't in years. I fought the restraints, heart rate spiked and I was gasping for breath. Dragon ripped the shrink wrap off to free my arms and sat in front of me. I was still so deep into my own head that talking me down didn't work. He had to play me down. Lots of touch, his voice and making me open my eyes. He had to get me aware enough to walk back in the house. Boy it was hard. All I wanted to do was sleep. ♥♥♥♥ Since we don't have a bed or even a couch out there yet, it wasn't a good idea at all. It took about 30 minutes but he finally brought me back to planet earth. I slept in his arms all night. No bad dreams and no worries. For one night, all was good in the world. ♥♥♥♥ All I can say this morning is WOW! Why yes, I had a great weekend. Thank you very much.

A little less stress

Dragon's disability claim is back. 90% I said that we wouldn't contest anything over 60% but they completely denied his ptsd claim. We have to have that on record. It is something Dragon struggles with every day. Another issue with the truck has been resolved. Now the 4 wheel drive won't engage. It isn't as big of a deal down south as it was when we lived in Idaho. But it needs to be fixed before the dirt roads get muddy. More good news. The back pay from the VA should be enough to fix my teeth and give us a good start on the lasics surgery. Things may be looking up. Dragon has promised a scene after we get kids to bed. Giggles. Just what I need!!!! Time to get get those kids to bed NOW. I don't care that this is the one day I let them stay up late.

Hope

The transmission has been replaced and Dragon can fix the other problems himself. That will save us some money. We finally get to go grocery shopping. Can't completely restock but there will be food in the house. ★★★★ Dragon hasn't forgotten about ttwd. He simply hasn't been as strict lately. He knows that punishment really affects me. It isn't a little done and over with thing with me. He lets things get bad before he takes action to make sure that I have good and earned the consequences. ★★★★★ Spanking started out as erotic play for us. After that very first punishment spanking, it took a while for me to be able to enjoy spanking again. (one reason Dragon didn't want dd) And still, I struggle with any kind of erotic touching. Dragon is slowly bringing it back. Touching and stroking. Telling me how wet I am. So far he hasn't pushed too far. Spanking is becoming sexy again. I think I like it that way. I am almost afraid that the next punishment will undo the progress. Only one way to know for sure is to take a punishment and see what happens. Time will tell....

Aunt Fow

Is late. Much latter than usual. I think it is stress. Dragon is worried. He brought home chocolate, tampons and a pregnancy test. So is he concerned that I am about to start? Or is he worried I am pregnant? ★★★★★Both would be my guess. Not sure which one scares him more.

Family time

The mechanic said to drive the truck, so drive it we did. We didn't go very far. The bait shop for worms and the grocery store for tummy medicine. Then we were off to our favorite fishing hole. ♥♥♥♥♥♥ We had a great day. We caught a bunch of tiny fish and one turtle. Catching fish isn't the point. Having fun is. We have been told that the pond we fish in doesn't have good fish but no one is willing to tell us where their fishing hole is. Those are well guarded secrets. Shhhhh. It would be an issue if we actually expected to catch decent fish. We were happy with the bait that ate our worms. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ No spanking. No sex. No scene. But some things are even better than that. Family ♥♥♥♥♥♥ This was the first time we have left the cat alone in the house. She wet the bed. MY BED. So I am unhappy with her right now but I think it was stress. She was afraid we were gone forever. That happens with rescues. My little found puppy is doing better but they think she is blind. I told them from the beginning that I didn't want to surrender her but I am not sure I am going to get her back. As long as she goes to a good home I am happy but I do miss her.

Dragon

He may be stressed and over worked. He comes home every day dragging and ready to rest. That is what I provide. But HE is still HOH! "My love. It has been a while since you have had a task. Spend some time in your corset today." ****** WOW Talk about a turn on. He still enforces the rules he made. He gives me a warning and I am usually smart enough to listen.

update?

What is there to update? 1. Out of condoms so no sex. 2. Supper stressed so no spanking or fun scenes. 3. Got the truck back but it is still broke. So it goes back in the shop. Can I scream please? Just a bit frustrated today. Sorry for the rant. To top it all off I am itchy. Something ate me up today. Neck to knees.

The Verdict

$2400 trying to get the price down but it isn't doesn't look good. Ramon noodle for a month or two? Probably. I will probably miss a few meals but my kids won't go without. I found a video that is simply amazing. Casting Crown's On Your Wedding Daym. Wow. It has a double meaning that made me remember how much I am loved. Loved by God and my Dragon. Had to share! Not sure how to put the video on my blog. Remember I have been without good Internet for a year.

Super stressed

It is looking like a ramin month. It would cost us just as much to rebuild the transmission as it will to pay someone else to do it. We are going to call the shop and tell them to come get the truck soon. It is going to take most of the paycheck. Dislike!!!! So yes, I am just a little stressed. We should get the truck back soon but we won't have money for gas. Joy. ******** Now for a sweet Dragon moment. He had a little money set back in savings. He has been trying to save money for lasics eye surgery for me. How sweet is that? My vision is very bad in one eye. Less than 20/200. The other one is fine but that one eye being bad affects so many things. He wants me to see the world the way he does. With depth. Glasses won't work for me. The difference between my eyes is too great. And I struggle with contacts. He is so good to me. ***** That money is gone along with most of the paycheck. Dragon is sad and I am supper stressed. But you know what? Dragon won't be deploying again, the rent is payed, we have food and my family is together. What more could we ask for? ******Our bible lesson for the day. Show kindness to those full of hate. With the verdict in the Martin /Zimmerman trial racial tension are high. The black community is angry and often take that anger out on anyone white. I want my family showing kindness in the face of that anger. A little kindness goes a long way.