Happy Easter

By d Dragon decree, we are staying home today.  he decided that my lungs are not up to a church full of people.  Perfume.

Have a great day.

My Journey

My Journey with Susan G Komen walk is turning to a very emotional adventure.  The more women I meet the more I want to lace up my shoes and walk.  I am at the very beginning of my journey.  I don't have cancer and have never had cancer of any kind.  I am fortunate that the bone tumors I get are not cancer.  Other people are not so lucky.

Today I wrote in my other blog about the story of a woman who is at the end of her journey   Not yet 30 and she is in hospice.  My tears are falling and my heart is breaking for her.  

Not much going on with dd right now.  For one thing, I avoid punishment as much as I can.  And Dragon does not go out of his way to find reasons to spank me.  Guess I am lucky that way.  When stress gets too much, and it has done that a lot lately, he  paddles my backside.  Yesterday morning he gave me a wake up spanking.  What a way to wake up?

Maybe I should just ask for a spanking tonight.

Lullaby Scene

(yes, there is a scene report in there somewhere.  You just have to read a little to get there)*

It had been a long day.  We kept hoping that Dragon would be called into to work but it didn't happen.  They day didn't go to waste!  Not at all.  The sun was shining, it was chilly but still nice.  Perfect day for an early season picnic and to scout out fishing spots.  I even found my fishing license.

One fishing hole didn't work out.  We are in the middle of a drought down here.  The lakes should be near full pool right now but they are supper low.  The dock was high a dry.  With no way to get down to the water, we had to hunt for a second fishing hole.  (Yes we could have climbed over a rock wall and waded across the mud flats but NO)  We found a small pond with a park by it instead.  It was nice out there but after a few hours it got way to cold.  Shivers.

We headed back home to warm up.  It was a nice day.

While Dragon worked in his shop, I walked.  Made it the full 3 miles my training sheet said I should be walking and I did it in the time limit!  One hour!  I did it!  I was tired but quite proud of my accomplishment.

*So yes, I started the scene tired...

But that didn't keep us from playing.

The garage was a cool but we were determined.   No matter how tired we both were after a day of family fun we were going to have a scene. I didn't stay cold for long!  Dragon started with the paddle.

WOWZA did that ever sting.  It has been so long since I have felt the sting that it was shocking to my poor backside.  I didn't last long at all.  Dancing around like a toddler getting away from the fly swat.  Dragon had my hands loosely tied to his work bench with my chest supported on the surface.  That left me on my tip-toes but that was okay.  After a few of those stinging swats, I was out of the ropes.  I pulled until I figured out how his tie worked and got my self out.

It didn't take long for him to figure out that the paddle wasn't working.  Soooo  he lined the floggers up beside my head.  I curled my arms under my torso and held on to the rope like it was a life line. He started with an old shoe string flogger across my shoulder blades.   The first one I ever made.  It is made out of rawhide boot laces.  Not much sting to it at all.  Then he moved on to the soft doe flogger.  Very nice.  Used full force it gives a little bit of a sting and a good solid thud.  He left the elk.  It gives a deeper thud that tends to trigger an asthma attack.  (not good during a scene)  The last flogger is made out of a tuffer cow hide.  The leather is stiffer and cut thinner.  It has a distinctive, cutting sting!

Talk about getting my attention.  But by this time I could handle it.  One spot seemed to be getting too much attention and when I pointed out the problem, he avoided it.  It didn't take long before I was sinking into that wonder place we call subspace.

When we went back tot he bedroom I was ready to go to sleep.  No staying up and worrying about the kid, his job, his ptsd, his shoulder, bills we can't pay.

Nothing....

I went to sleep.

Had some weird dreams but I slept.  It was nice to get a good nights sleep for a change.

(congress passed that bill but I am afraid they changed the wording in it.  Not sure how it is going to affect us yet.  Dragon is still job hunting and Mina is apply for jobs too.)  Please keep the prayers coming.  We are both worried.  This is a huge PTSD trigger for him.  And if I am honest, it is a trigger for me too.

Trying again

Those two words cover several areas of life right now.

Yep, we are trying to get back into DD again.  We keep falling off the band wagon.  Nothing has helped us get back on track.  But here we are, trying again.  In the last few months I have been more willing to make love to my husband.  Sex isn't something I have ever liked.  I don't know why.

 Could be I am more attracted to women than to men?

Maybe....

But we are trying to get back on track with discipline again.   He likes to spank me.  I like the submissive head space I stay in when he is at the top of his game.  It brings us closer.  What is not to like?

So yes, we are trying again.  We are trying to get past that awkwardness that seems to be there with every punishment.  It is there for both of us.  It is like, "okay, what now?"


DD isn't the only thing I am using those words again.

Trying Again

I registered for the Komen 3 day years ago.  Dragon wasn't supposed to deploy until the spring.  We thought he would be home.

Didn't happen.

Dragon got orders to Afghanistan for September but we still had a plan of action.  We had the approximate day he was supposed to leave. We set a day one month before that as the good bye date.  We knew how the they operate.  Nothing happens on the day they say it will.  They took him a full month before the date we set.  Two full months before the projected date they gave us.

That turned my little world up side down.  That was the last straw for me.  But I was still determined to complete the event.    Then two weeks into the deployment I get a call from the back of an ambulance.  Dragon was hurt and needed surgery.  AND he didn't get to come home.

I was in tears.  Couldn't stop crying.  It seemed like one thing after another was happening.  I had enough.  Something had to go.  I couldn't bring Dragon home with my mind powers.  I couldn't keep the bills from piling up.  I couldn't even get a break from the kids.  What I could do was give up the 3 day event.

Now I have registered again.  They had a special offer for only 3 days.  $80 off their regular registration price.  WOW!  I still have to raise $2300 but I could afford the registration fee!!!

I registered last night and went on my first training walk today.  3 miles.  Tomorrow is a cross train day.  P90X here I come.  If nothing else I will be in phenomenal shape!

Dragon has a scene planned for tonight and I have a long todo list.  I am going to use my sewing skills to raise the money for the walk.  Memory pillows.  Baby clothes and little girl dresses.  Aprons and anything i can put machine embroidery on.

I can do this.  I won't be doing it alone this time!

Be in prayer for congress to pass the bill that would allow Dragon to keep his job.  All they have to do is vote yes just like it is and he keeps his job.  Now to get the jack asses and elephants to think alike for just one little bill...

I can hope.  

Weekend excitment

Boring slow Saturday at your house?

Not at mine.

We were cleaning house.  That major deep clean that only happens a few times a year.  The kids didn't even complain about helping.  They had their chores and knew what needed to be done.  Once chore at a time.  Work for 20 minutes take a break for 10.  Not a bad day.

Until....

Mina's chore is cleaning the bathroom.  It is one she likes to skimp on but I am strict.  I do let a few things slide but today she had to get them down.  Every surface, to include the toilet had to be wiped down.  All wood work polished.  I wanted it spotless.

It was going great until she heard a bumping under the tub.

Ut oh...

There was a mouse nest under there but we have almost eradicated them.  The nest they had under there is abandoned   We have just the occasional mouse coming in to see if he can find some food. One of those stray mice got caught in a trap today.  I made a note to ask Dragon to dispose of it when he gets home.

A snake found the mouse before Dragon could get home.  The bumping was the snake trying to eat the mouse, trap and all.

After much panicking, (by me) the snake gave up his prize and is gone.

 For now....

And I have a half digested mouse in a trap under my bathtub.  It is visible from the access door on the side of the apron.

Ick ick ick.  I HATE SNAKES!

Would I call it a phobia?

Why, yes I would!

Snake repellent and large sticky traps are now on the shopping list.  Someone recommended lemon grass.  I think I may have to plant the ENTIRE yard in that stuff if it really works!

When a Soldier Comes Home

I found this on facebook yesterday and thought it worthy to share with my blogger buddies.  Soldiers are trained to go off to war and fight for our freedoms.  Who trains them to come home?  This gives you a small snap shot of time in the life of a military family.  His side this time.  

When a soldier comes home, he finds it hard....
..to listen to his son whine about being bored.
....to keep a straight face when people complain about potholes.
to be tolerant of people who complain about the hassle of getting ready for work.
...to be understanding when a co-worker complains about a bad night's sleep.
..to be silent when people pray to God for a new car.
....to control his panic when his wife tells him he needs to drive slower.
..to be compassionate when a businessman expresses a fear of flying.
....to keep from laughing when anxious parents say they're afraid to
send their kids off to summer camp.
.....to keep from ridiculing someone who complains about hot weather.
....to control his frustration when a colleague gripes about his coffee being cold.
....to remain calm when his daughter complains about having to walk the dog.
......to be civil to people who complain about their jobs.
.....to just walk away when someone says they only get two weeks of vacation a year.
....to be forgiving when someone says how hard it is to have a new baby in the house.
The only thing harder than being a Soldier...
Is loving one.
Battle On!! Battle BARE my sweet friends!!

It was on a page called Battle Bare.  It helps young military wives deal with the effects of PTSD.  There are several pages out there now.  I wish any one of them had been around when we were in the middle of our own battle with it.  Back when I was in tears and almost ready to give up.  It is hard to get our men to admit there is a problem.  It is hard to understand their anger and frustration.  

Many times the wife is all that stands between them and the world.  We put ourselves in the line of fire for their anger so that they can function in the world.  We take the brunt of it to save their career and to protect our families.  What the wife often doesn't see is where all that anger is coming from.  

Sometimes it is good to see "The rest of the Story" as Paul Harvey would say.  

I know Dragon felt left out when he would come home.  We had learned how to function without him.  We didn't need him.  That is how he saw it anyway.  Thing he had done before, we were doing ourselves.  No one asked for his help.  We cooked, cleaned and fixed things.  The kids came to me for help, not to him.  He was left out of our lives.  

Routine was as important to him as it was to us.  But coming home, he expected the routine to be the same but it never was.  

Today, little things matter.  The same breakfast every day.  The same lunch packed the same way every day.  So much has changed in our lives.  Those routines are a priority for him.  I have to make them a priority in my life too, even when it isn't convenient.  Life with a vet isn't like life with anyone else.  I am still the one who stands between him and the world.  For him, I am a safe haven.  It is ok to show his weakness to me.  It is ok to be angry.  It is ok to not be perfect.  

It is good to be needed but sometimes, I wish this wasn't needed at all.  

In hind sight, I understand.  

Life

Wow.  Life has just suddenly gotten very busy!

The kids are doing school work like a dream.  Chores are getting done, the sun is shining and it is beautiful.  We still don't know what is going to happen with Dragon's job.  He is still job hunting while everything is in a holding pattern.  Apparently it will literally take an act of congress to save his job.  Crazy, isn't it?

The world now has a new Pope.  Meanwhile I am still trying to figure out why the Pope is so important.  Hmmm.  Working on that part.

Life goes on.

We haven't even been to any kinky events lately.  Moving on and moving forward.  That is about all we can do.

Here is something funny!

I am trying to grow black berries in 5 gallon buckets.  So far so good.  I didn't want to leave them at a rental house.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Spankings?  None lately.  With this warm weather that WILL change soon.

I'll catch up on blogs next time it rains.

Silent Spanking?

Now that doesn't sound quite right.  A silent punishment maybe but a spanking includes swats!  This didn't have anything to do with swats.

I was short with the kids.  Everything got on my nerves.  Luckily, I saw what was happening and asked the kids to keep it down.  Poor kids.  I tried.  I did.  But I was jumping out of my skin.

Then Dragon remembered something about non spanking punishments.  No punishment had been earned but  maybe just maybe, he could use some of those things as a stress relief.

He took my hand and lead me back to the bed room.

"Take off your pants and panties."

My heart stopped.

I can't say that I was very silent and what started out as a very intense almost punishment turned into loving making fast.

By the time I curled up in his arms to sleep, I couldn't remember what I was so worried about.

I wish it was warm enough to use the garage for a nice long flogging or fun spanking but I'll take what I can get.  The good news is that spring comes earlier now that we are much closer to the equator   The weather is already starting to warm up.