ex boyfriend up date

She is doing great.  The drastic mood swings of the last 2 months are slowing down.  Fewer tears and more smiles.  She is coming out of her room without being forced to.  Playing video games with her little brother and watching movies with her sisters.

It is like I have my daughter back again.  She now calls her relationship with this guy poison and admits that it will take time to get all the bad stuff out.  It is a huge relief for us.  To finally see her happy again has me on top of the world.

What does she want?  She wants a strong man.  One that doesn't cry real tears over every little heart break in life.  She wants a man that has some ambition in life.  Being a short order cook in a touristy restaurant won't cut it for her.  She wants a man who will hold her accountable and spank her backside when she needs it.

What does she want?  She wants a man just like her father.  What is the problem with that?  He is taken and I have never met another man like him. I am sure she will find what she is looking for eventually.  When she gives up and decides to stay single she will find the man who will chase her until she has to say yes.

Withdrawing Consent?

I had never thought of safe words as withdrawing consent but Sara's blog post made me think.  Is it really?  If you get right down to it, calling red is withdrawing consent.  Even if it is only for a moment.  Enough time for me to change positions or change implements.  But in that moment I have withdrawn my consent for him to continue.

I can call red at any time.

Always

I can even completely red out of a punishment.

What usually happens?  I have some time to think.  Get a little distance from him and the situation.  Then I go back to him, we talk and I get spanked.

I'll have to think about this for a while.  I need those safe words.  I do.  But the idea that it is withdrawing consent has me rattled.  It will take a little time to work this out in my head again.

The EX boy friend?

A mom can only hope.  My daughter has told me that the long standing relationship with the internet boyfriend is over!  He is much older than she is, lives at home with his mommy and only recently got a job.  Did I mention that he also has a police record?

What mother in her right mind would approve of this kind of relationship?  I sure didn't.  When she was 17 I tried to keep her away from him.  That didn't work.  I tried being silent about all things concerning this looser.  That didn't work either.  She was constantly talking about him.  Last month she used up 3000 cell phone minutes talking to this guy.  (anyone want to see my cell bill for the month?)

This man has flaunted our house rules and has encouraged her defiance at every turn.  Because of him, she has not finished high school and may get kicked out of the house before she does.  She gets her share of the blame but he gets most of it.  Since she has been with this looser, she has been so different.

Pray pray pray! ! ! !

She is going to make the phone call today.  All of his stuff is either boxed up or thrown away.  As we speak she is deleting all photos of him off of her computer and face book account.

Her doing.  Not mine.  He said some really hateful things to her during their last fight.  She just can't get past it.  Knowing what was said, I can't blame her.

A mommy can hope.

Spam Blocker

Do you know what the best part of blogger is?

Yep.  It is the spam blocker.

Since I have put my blog on moderate all, all the spam has been going into one nice neat little folder.  If you put a nonsense post on my blog that is totally off topic with the words "visit my..." in the text, my spam blocker will get rid of it for me.

So convenient!

Spammers, quit trying.  I scan the posts in that folder for those two telling words and hit the delete button.

Thanks but no thanks.  I really don't want to visit your web page.

My Obsession Pays off!

I love sewing machines.  Old machines sit in thrift stores collecting dust.  Dusty and broken.  Neglected machines no one wants.

I want them!  I love them!  Dragon buys them and fixes them up for me.  I lovingly display them all over my house.  I am a hopeless pack rat when it comes to these old machines.

Long story short.  I have a huge project going and a looming deadline.  My primary machine, a 10 year old Bernina starts sewing funny and making a strange sound.  The stitches are uneven and messy.  My progress on the project comes to a grinding halt.

Yesterday I started testing the old machines to see which one works the best.  I think I have found my new primary machine.  It is an old badged machine probably sold out of the Sears and Robuck catalog in the late 1950s or early 1960s.

When Dragon came home late last night he worked on the machines while I cooked supper.  I new have 3 machines lined up for use and even a 4th one in line if something happens to the first three.  I am happy.

Now I just have to re organize my work space.    I need room for two machines to be set up.  One threaded with red thread and and another with black.  That way I won't have to keep re-threading the machines when I need to change thread color.

Time to get busy.  I have 4 brides maid dresses to make and a week to make them in.  I'll get it done!

Corset time

My efforts to train back into my corset are paying off.  Today, I set my timer for 30 minutes and laced myself up.  When the timer went off, I was busy.  I turned it off and continued working in my sewing room.  Cutting and snipping away at the fabric.  I am making the first of 4 bodices for the brides maid dresses.

The bride was supposed to purchase linen.  She purchased a crap load of poplin.  Hmmm.  Ok... I can work with that.  It isn't as nice of a fabric but it is half the price.  Then My stabilizer wasn't wide enough.  Ok, so I use the white flannel instead.  Not a big deal.  Snip and cut.  Working away.

Next thing I know the kids are asking for lunch.  What?  It isn't lunch time yet!  Yes it is.  I lost track of time working in a corset!  How in the world did I do that?  It wasn't laced down very tight at all but still....  Over 2 hours and I was working comfortably.

I finally had to put my scissors down and take a break.     The callus where my scissors rub my knuckle was not happy with me.  I need to find a band-aid before I do any more.

Ps.  I whined for 30 minutes this morning when Dragon told me to get some corset time in today.  I made us excuse after excuse.  I am glad I did it.  I love how the corset feels and I love how I feel in it!

A Sleepy Scene interupeted

It was the end of an exhausting weekend.  We had fun and crossed several projects off the TODO list.  We both needed a scene to wind down.

Because we planned on being a little noisy, we set it up in the garage.  Sleeping bags layered on the floor, paddles and floggers lined on on the table saw.  After a good flogging and some time spent on my knees, Dragon prepared to spank me.

Then it started.

Yip, yip, yip, HOWL.

Our local coyote had a litter of puppies and they were hanging out in our yard for the evening.  Knowing that they were right outside the window of the garage was very unnerving!  Fingernails on the chalk board kind of thing.

Instead of ending our session with a little love making, I got redressed and we returned to the bedroom.

Here is the question of the day.  Why did the dog pick that moment to go potty?  He whimpered and whined enough to let us know he REALLY had to go.  And RIGHT NOW!  It wouldn't wait!  Dragon slipped on his shoes, picked up my little Colt Mustang and walked the dog for me.

New rule.  Only Dragon walks the dogs after dark and he will walk them armed until these little coyote pups move on.

It was disturbing way to end a very nice weekend.  :/

The Step

I am very good at making excuses not to use the step but progress is being made.  Almost 15 minutes today.  That isn't a slow step....  step...  step.... pace.  I get moving.  My feet fly across it.  It could be boring but I make it fun.  I put on my Motown vinyl and have fun.

Even my kids are getting into it.  My son looked up from his school work and asked to try.  So he did.  I can't say that he is very coordinated but he had fun and he moved his body for a good 5 minutes.  Then the 13 y/o got into the picture   They took turns until the record ended.

My goal was 20 minutes today.  Is kid fun a good excuse to stop a few minutes early?

I think so.

Time to put on the corset.  I need to train my body back into it.  Then crunches and on to sewing.  My days are beginning to take on a comfortable rhythm finally.  I have a routine I am comfortable with.  One that is healthy for me and for my family.

Unfair Spanking

I wrote about a spanking gone wrong when I first started my blogging adventure.  Now I have had more time to think on it.

Was it an unfair spanking?  Did Dragon do anything wrong?

It really wasn't unfair.  The only problem with it is that I was mad.  We had a disagreement, I left before it was resolved and slammed a door.  Clearly I was in the wrong.  Who started the argument at that point didn't matter.  I behaved disrespectfully.

Now I see what went wrong and unfortunately for me, so does Dragon.

After the punishment, I was still angry.  I wasn't crying or the least little bit repentant.  I WAS MAD.  THAT WASN'T FAIR!  He deserved that spanking, not me!

Did that spanking really go bad?  I don't think so now.  Now I think it didn't go far enough.  Round one should have been longer and harder.  Yes, I would have still gotten up from it mad.  What should have happened then?  Round two.  Some quiet time in the bed room to think about what happened and what I did.  When I figured out that I really was in the wrong, more swats.

I was so defiant for that spanking that I refused to take off my pants.  WOW!  What would Dragon do now?   I don't even want to think about  it.  I know it wouldn't be pretty.

I am sure un deserved spankings can happen.  Mine wasn't one of those.  I was out right defiant.  Every spanking I have begged out of because I thought it wasn't fair was deserved.  I simply didn't want to get spanked.    Yes, I need to work on that.   After all, I am not a child to whine when facing the consequences of poor behavior.  I should be taking the swats without whining.  Knowing that they are deserved.

Trust the Dragon.

When Money is Short

I put on my thinking cap.

I walked my treadmill to death.  Yes, it got used.  I can't tell you how many miles I walked on that thing.  Then I taught my dogs how to walk on it and the kids started using it too.  The stories that old treadmill could tell if it could only talk.  10 minutes up to 2 hours of continuous use.  1 mile to almost 10 at a time.

After we moved it Idaho I finally had to admit it was worn out and past all usefulness.  Unfortunately, we haven't had the money to replace it with a decent quality machine.  When the weather was good, I walked our little community.  My face was well known on every block.  My shoes wore a path in the dirt beside the road.  Every dog and cat knew I carried yummy treats in a little bag I carried over my shoulder.

Now we live by a major highway.  No treadmill, no safe place to walk outside.

What to do?  I need to move and that little Wii board just doesn't get the job done.  It isn't high enough to get a good workout.  No more than stepping forwards and backwards over and over.  Boring, repetitive aerobics.

Dragon built me a step.  It is about 5 inches tall and is the size of the Wii board box.  I can use it with the radio just like I did the treadmill.  Stepping up and down in different combinations.  I can use the weight vest or hand weights when I find then in the many boxes still left to unpack.  It can be used with the Wii board for the fitness program to get a better workout.

I like it.

I kept my time sort this morning.  Just 5 minutes.  Stretching first and then a short work out.  No overdoing it the first day.  I could have probable gotten away with 10 minutes but I rather take it slow at first.  I'll add 5 minutes a week until I get up to 30 minutes at a time.  That is the most I have time for.

A small step made out of scrap lumber.  Cost?  A box of screws and one broken drill bit.  Not bad for a very useful piece of fitness equipment.  How much do those steps cost at the sports store?  How much does a treadmill cost?  Much more than we spent.

limited internet

With this move, we have limited access to internet.  I have to watch our daily usage closely.  I think it is a good thing.

No staying on the computer all day playing.

Once or twice a day for less than an hour.  I check face book and email, look at the news and read a few blogs.  Then I am done for the day.  So much more time for family stuff!

I thought it would be miserable but it isn't.  It has turned into a good thing for all of us.  The kids still have access during they day when they need to do research for school work but no computer is connected for more than a hour a day.  The home school mom in me LOVES this.  It is so much better this way.

I can't comment on as many blogs and don't read every one that pops up on my screen.  My time is valuable so I make good use of it.

Yep.  This is a very good thing.  Now there is more of me to go around.

Football

Why do men like the game?  It isn't logical to me.  A bunch of dirty, sweaty men running around after a funny shaped ball.  The kick it, throw it and tackle each other.  Then there is the goofy victory dance and the end of the field.

Sigh.  What is the point?  I don't get it.

Should I go to the game and spend time with my husband (cold, wet and miserable)  or stay home in my nice warm house?  It sounds like an easy choice but I really do want to be close to my Dragon.

What to do....   What to do....

Yes, I'll go and I won't even complain.  I'll snuggle under my jacket and the truck blanket.  My trusty kinkle will keep me entertained.  I think I am even looking forward to the half time show.

Domestic?

Who?


 Me?


 WHAT????


Quick!  What do I do!  I am becoming domesticated!  I enjoy fixing supper for my family!  What happened to me?  I HATE cooking!

Sigh....

It must be a side effect of this thing called submission.

First it was fixing his lunch and breakfast.  Now it is cooking supper?  Next thing you know I will be cleaning the bathroom with a tooth brush.

YIKES!

When we met Dragon could follow a recipe but that doesn't mean you can cook.    He made me a home made spaghetti dinner while I was at work one day.  It tasted like canned tomatoes and nothing else.  I taught him how to season to taste. Taste the food you are cooking and know what your spices will do to the flavor.  Now he is teaching me how to make the dishes our family loves.  No, there isn't a recipe for most of it.  Over the years he has taken our favorite dishes and made them better.

I'm learning....

Last night I made curry rice for the first time.  It was Yummy even if the meat was too tuff.  oops.  I think that was my fault.  I am still trying to figure out how the dish washer got loaded.  Did I do that?  Yes, I think I did.

Scary, spooky things are happening at my house.